a part of me doesn't even want to be alive anymore. i'm not going to kill myself or try to harm myself in any way so please no one call the pyscho doctors on me. i just hurt so much. i cry all the time. i can't even look at him without getting that sinking feeling in my shattered heart. i love him so much and this is tearing me up inside. i've just lost the best thing that ever happened to me and i can't get that back. i know that we're not right for each other but i love him so much. he has my heart, how am i supposed to live without my heart?! what am i supposed to do now? how am i supposed to carry on and be strong when all i want to do is curl up and die? i don't know what to do. i'm so alone. he says that ever since we broke up i haven't really talked to him about normal stuff but that's because every time i try all i can think about is how he's not with me anymore and it takes all that i have to hold back the tears. i really thought we were going to be together forever and now i've realized that nothing is forever. he's the man i pictured myself marrying and settling down with. he was there for me on the worst day of my life when my daddy died. he was there to hold me while i cried. he was there to catch me when i almost collapsed after watching my daddy take his last breath. he was there to be strong for me when i couldn't be. but who's going to catch me now? who's going to be strong for me now?

someone catch me, i'm falling.