My life is buzzing. There's a dim hum of focus and excitement and inspiration filling the sunny daylight hours.
I've gone back to Whisper Hungarian as my show piece. N___ gave me an Aphex Twin song that I'm now obsessed with. I scrapped At the End of the Day in favor of it and have been choreographing all morning. Last night I fell asleep with it on repeat on my ipod. Buzzing and humming in the darkness with my dog curled at my feet. My ipod and several open books now sleep in the spot on the bed where the boy used to lay. I'm finding I'm happier this way.
In a burst of creativity, I suddenly have plans sketched out for Alternacirque through August. We are happy and in love with each other and seething with potential. It's going to be a magical summer. Our shows will get bigger, our crowds are getting bigger, we are getting better each time. Every month our performers come more and more into their own. We are living lives that other people only dream of. This is what it must feel like to be a proud mother.
I am still going to city yoga. I love to place my mat by the open door to the back garden and practice with my long hair flying free in the breeze. I haven't had long hair in almost ten years. It's wavy and halfway to my shoulderblades now. The people there are open hearted and beautiful souls, and they're inspiring me to try to be one, too. I've started talks about possibly teaching there in the fall. God, how amazing that would be.
My vegetable garden is starting to produce. Three yellow squashes almost ready to eat. So many roma tomatoes, I can't even count them all. Cucumbers, big boy tomatoes and eggplants on the way. Finally getting the first female zuccini flowers. Nasturtiums and zinnias flowering. I sat on the back deck under an umbrella with a cold soy chai and polished off a couple of books from the stack yesterday afternoon. Every book has been perfect and telling me things that resonate.
How long can I hold onto these amazing moments? Please, god, let me stay like this a little while longer.