There seems to be a big hullabulloo over the toys coming out of China that are either choking hazards or lined with lead.  I think this is much ado about nothing. Now I'm not saying there isn't a potential threat and if you suspect you have some of these toys then by all means throw them away. But I saw a news story where a mother brought her kid in for lead poison testing and I was like "come on! Don't fall for the hype!" She said she was concerned because her kid had been putting this toy in his mouth for quite some time. Well you wouldn't have this problem in the first place if you stopped your kid from chewing on toys. Isn't it a basic rule of motherhood to take stuff OUT of a baby's mouth that isn't food or boobies? And besides, you have to eat a lot of lead before it harms you. I mean look at those dumb Romans who ate out of lead bowls and cups. It took them forever to die out and you can still see a couple around today if you go to Las Vegas. Alright having said that, I would like to share with you some more products for children that are made in China that also feature the awesome additive of lead! Behold…

Lead Headed Destro

This toy features Destro who is the coolest cartoon character bad guy ever. Who else can wear a mask and have the lips move when they talk? Well maybe Joan Rivers but that's beside the point. In real life Destro's mask would probably be made of silver, but this toy's mask is made of the next best thing – lead!

Lois Lane's box of Secrets

If you are anything like Lois Lane then you will know what it feels like to want to keep secrets from that nosy do-gooder Superman. This lovely box, lined with lead, uranium, and poison ivy is perfect for putting things where Superman can't see them. Lois Lane herself keeps an emergency block of Kryptonite in here in case Superman ever becomes abusive.

Slip and S'lead

Sliiiiiiip! Slip and S'lead! Sliiiiiiip! Slip and S'lead! I'm trying to print out how the song in the commercial would sound, I don't know if that's apparent or not.

Leadsicle