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THIS BREAD HAS NUTS IN IT!

NOTE: The opinions of Doctor No do not necessarily represent the opinions of Tom, MySpace.com, or the FOX corporation. Facts cited by Doctor No are not necessarily facts.
Doctor No



Last Updated: 3/12/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 36
Sign: Scorpio

City: WESTMINSTER
State: COLORADO
Country: US
Signup Date: 1/14/2006

Who Gives Kudos:


Tuesday, April 24, 2007 

Current mood:time for work!
Category: Life

These are the days of our lives...

Last fall, I posted the tale of The Outback Letter, the story of a fellow graduate student whose enthusiasm for a department outing proved to be his downfall.

At the time (in the comments following the blog), I promised a follow-up regarding The Bughouse Letters.  For those of you unfamiliar with this game, it's a four-player game played with two chessboards, and our hero was a big fan. 

What follows are The Bughouse Letters, all seven of them, in their entirety.  Names have been deleted to protect the guilty.  Enjoy this taste of Boulder, Colorado - the way it once was!


January 17, 1996:

Hi everyone!
        If there is anyone that I have not said hello to, have a great
semester.
        I do remember that I had offered a chance to tryout bug house
(siamese chess) to a few people last semester when we had some time. 
Well, I thought before the semester got too busy, that this first week we
all could squeeze some games in tomorrow, Thursday night.  This is a good
night because there's a chess club that regularly has people playing bug
house.  I would be glad to give up to four people, the passenger capacity
of my car, a ride there and back.
        If you are interested, I will be in math modes (MATH170) tomorrow
from 1 until 3.  Come by and let me know.
        If enough people are interested in playing bug house on a regular
basis here in the department, I will purchase the equipement nessecary
for us to play here.  I already have two chess sets ideal for bug house
and am waiting for the digital clocks to become available. 
        I would point out that as mathematicians, the penticle of
intellectual achievement, it is almost embarassing if we are found out not to play
 a descent chess game. 
Yet many of you may feel that chess is too long, boring, not socially stimulating,
and requires in depth study to play well.
  Bug house is the solution to all of these faults.
        Standard bug house games last less than ten minutes.  Every bug
house game I ever have played has lasted less than ten minutes (with the
soul exception being that I know someone who tried bug house by mail). 
In bug house, you have a partner that you can communicate with.  Every
bug house game that I have played has been fun, exciting, and quick
moving.  Bug house has caoticness built into it which eliminates
effectiveness of studying books on standard chess openings.  Even a book
on bug house openings would be of limited value because of the random
nature of the game.  Yet, despite all of this, who can learn to play a
reasonably good game of chess because you get great combination practice.
        Folks, I have to leave for class now.  Sorry that I have not done
a better job of communicating how fun the game is or more on how it is
played or a full list of advantages.  Just stop me today or tomorrow if
you have questions.  Otherwise, I hope to see everyone tomorrow in
Math170, Math modes tutoring room, between one and three.
        By for now, ***.


February 9, 1996:

There's a WHAT in your tea?!

What could be finer than to be sipping tea while franticly trying to keep
the bugginess of bug house under control.  Yes, that is to say, as you
guess tea time and bug time are now one in the same on friday afternoons!

I will set up the bug house and tea equipement by 3:30 on fridays and
will leave the bug house equipement setup until at least 5:30.  So come
what ever meetings you have, there is still time for a few games of bug
house.


February 9, 1996:

Water is heating

Tea will be ready soon.
Cookies are out.
The boards are set.
Time to go to 350 and have some fun.

BUG HOUSE TIME!


February 9, 1996:

Beware!!!

The team of Beth G********* and John M**** were undefeated in bug house
this today!  I think they are out for blood.

So, if they come knocking at your door, HIDE!  DON'T ANSWER IT!  Or if
you dare answer, practice, practice, practice (because they have) or
ELSE!

If you find a partner and willing opposition to prepare for Beth and
John's onslot, you can borrow the bug house equipement from me. 

The only team we have any hope of defending us from Beth and John's
attack is the team of Bob R*** and John M****** who got some games in
last Friday.  Oh where, oh where was our defending team of Bob and John? 
Are we lost, or will some new team come and defend us next Friday during
Bug House-Tea Time? 

Are the only good teams have initials B'n'J?  Can you think up a better
name for your team?  Let me know.  See ya at the Buggy Tea.


February 23, 1996:

It's Friday...

and we all know what that means.  But in case anyone forgot, it's Buggy
Tea day.  That is, Bug House today.
 
Last week we had a record attendance-- This week we can do even better!
So...

Same Bug time (3:30 to 5:30)...

Same Bug channel (MATH 350)...

See ya there!


February 23, 1996:

The tea is hot

So it must be, and it is, Buggy Tea time.

Come enjoy the tea, cookies, and bug house.


March 1, 1996:

Time to relax with tea, cookies and bughouse.

One person did ask why I was going to the effort to set up for tea and
bug house as well as to spread the word.  The answer is this is my gift
to my fellow grad students in this department.  This is an opertunity for
you to save your money, relax and have fun at the end of your week. 
Personally all I get out of this is to be able set back and watch others
have fun playing bughouse. 

So everyone, come and enjoy a quiet afternoon.


And there we have it.  That's another piece of the puzzle as to why I am the way I am.  Office...submarine!!!

As one last treat, while we were busy experimenting with forging e-mails, during the height of the Great Bughouse Crazy of 1996, my good friend Curtis penned this little tribute "from" the student in question.  Enjoy!


February 18, 1996:

Sung to the tune of "Our House" by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young:

You set the clocks,
I bring the pieces, which I
Place on two chess boards side by side.

You brew the tea,
I'll bring some cookies, and we'll
Sit down on a Friday afternoon.

Bug House
Is a very very very fine house;
With non-stop action, challenge, fun, and sport.

Bug House
With its wacky random style of play;
There is no other game of its sort!


I think it fits well, don't you?  Thanks again to other people for writing my blog yet again, and mad props to me for keeping every e-mail I ever receive.  And as mentioned in November, I'm still soliciting guesses as to what this gentleman looks like.  Enjoy your Tuesdays!

(Please note that with the use of the plural, I'm wishing that multiple people enjoy a single Tuesday.  I am not advocating that one person enjoy multiple Tuedsays, although you are free to do that at your own risk.)

 

Currently listening:
Dim the Lights, Chill the Ham
By Shadowy Men On A Shadowy Planet
Release date: 17 May, 1993
¤Misty¤

 

oh shit!!!!!  I have tears and snot and tears and snot...I haven't laughed this hard in a looooong time.

Thanks Dr. Doug!!!

I needed a good laugh.

:)


 
Posted by ¤Misty¤ on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 1:31 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 
Good laughs are my specialty!  And people think that going to math grad school for seven years would be boring.
 
Posted by Doctor No on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 1:44 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 

To paraphrase the older blog, he definitely plays a nicer game of chess than we can afford to play.  He's a true American treasure!


 
Posted by Doctor No on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 1:43 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 

Hey, you're preaching to the choir!  It's certainly a nicer place than I'm used to eating at during the semester.

 


 
Posted by Doctor No on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 8:54 PM
[Reply to this
Shila

 

I sincerely hope that Bob and John weren't able to ruin the BJ for everyone.

That would certainly be a shame....


 
Posted by Shila on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 2:10 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 

Exactly!  Bob and John clearly are not the only good teams have initials B 'n' J.


 
Posted by Doctor No on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 3:11 PM
[Reply to this
The Liar

 

This sounds like an interesting game, I love games.  I think my favorite part of the blog was the last bit, though. We (me and all the voices in my head) are enjoying our respective Tuesdays.


 
Posted by The Liar on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 2:42 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 
As you should!  At your own risk, of course.
 
Posted by Doctor No on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 3:13 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 
Open note to the assembled peoples - why do blogs never work on days when I post a new blog?

Do they never work, and I just pay attention more when I can't respond to people?  Or is Tom following me around?

And why does it always snow in Denver on Tuesday nights, when I have to drive to Boulder at a ridiculously-early time Wednesday mornings?  It's late April, for Pete's sake!


 
Posted by Doctor No on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 3:15 PM
[Reply to this
Kimi

 
It's a plot to test the limits of your sanity. How's it working?
 
Posted by Kimi on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 5:02 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 
I'm demented.  Not as demented as I'll be in ten years, but it's a start!
 
Posted by Doctor No on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 5:18 PM
[Reply to this
Kimi

 
True. It's hard to be smart *and* sane at the same time. Doug's a math geek, so we know he has to be smart!
 
Posted by Kimi on Wednesday, April 25, 2007 - 9:06 AM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 

Actually, it's time I come clean with everyone.

It's very difficult to tell the difference between "eccentric" and "smart".  And truth be told, I'm just eccentric.


 
Posted by Doctor No on Wednesday, April 25, 2007 - 11:40 AM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 
Office....submarine!
 
Posted by Doctor No on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 5:19 PM
[Reply to this
carmen

 
How can any of you laugh at this poor unfortunate person?
Just because he can't spell or use proper grammar, and is embarrasingly desperate.......
Does that make him a dork, a geek, a great big joke?
Oh, I see your point.

 
Posted by carmen on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 6:26 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 

I laugh at others to increase my self-confidence.  It's like high school all over again!


 
Posted by Doctor No on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 6:40 PM
[Reply to this
Lou

 

Not English majors?  That's a good thing!

Thanks for sharing the BJ story.  [Did I get that right?]


 
Posted by Lou on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 6:49 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 
That's the story I'm going with!
 
Posted by Doctor No on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 6:51 PM
[Reply to this
Sonya

 
 Now I think I want to learn how to play this game...
 
Posted by Sonya on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 11:45 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 

Just don't learn from anyone you might meet on the bus.  That's the last time I saw this gentleman...

In all seriousness, it's actually a decent game.  It's too bad that my perceptions are clouded by the person who introduced it to me!


 
Posted by Doctor No on Tuesday, April 24, 2007 - 11:52 PM
[Reply to this
Jen

 

Did you misspell "Tuesdays" on purpose?  This has me confused.  


 
Posted by Jen on Wednesday, April 25, 2007 - 9:08 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 

I was trying to get into the spirit!

You're the first to notice, though. 


 
Posted by Doctor No on Wednesday, April 25, 2007 - 11:26 PM
[Reply to this
Katie P

 
This gentleman is indeed the penticle of intelligence.
 
Posted by Katie P on Thursday, April 26, 2007 - 5:26 AM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 
I could not agree more.  In fact, I was embarashed to be compared with him.
 
Posted by Doctor No on Thursday, April 26, 2007 - 2:53 PM
[Reply to this
Jacob Bennett
Jacob Bennett

 
I didn't even know e-mail existed in 1996. Way to keep those.
 
Posted by Jacob Bennett on Saturday, April 28, 2007 - 2:18 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor No

 
It existed, but it wasn't on computers yet.  You had to send it through the post office.
 
Posted by Doctor No on Saturday, April 28, 2007 - 3:37 PM
[Reply to this