As most of you know, I'm working to become more adept at the social aspects of life. As someone good at "the maths", stereotypically speaking, I don't have the so-called softer skills. Conversationally speaking, I'm not very open. I'm pretty good at answering questions about myself, but I don't usually volunteer details about my hidden past.
With that in mind, I thought I'd mention some things about me that you probably weren't aware of. I believe that you'll find this to be a refreshingly honest look into my personal life.
- First off, I'm a stickler for grammar and the correct use of terminology. It grates me when people say "for all intensive purposes". Or when someone says that they are "nailing their secretary". As all good romantics know, the correct phrase is "nailing love to".
- I'm responsible for the invention of the spork, the most popular utensil created in the twentieth century.
- Do you know what I'd be really good at? Writing television shows. I watch a lot of them, and it's just thinking up things for people to say. I say things all of the time, and I know a lot of people who say things. How hard could it be?
- I have at least four friends who threatened to move to Canada prior to the 2004 elections, but are still here. That's right - I'm calling you out!
- As an undergraduate, I earned extra spending cash working as a JC Penney catalog model.
- Those of you who have seen me play basketball might be surprised to find this out, but in the summer of 2005, I was the twelfth-overall selection in the National Basketball Association's Slow Old Guy Supplemental Draft. I never came to terms on a contract, however, and am currently a free agent. Tell your friends!
- Many of you know that I'm an amateur musician. But you probably didn't know that I penned the lyrics to the song "If I Can't Have You, I'd Like A Biggie-Sized Number Three Combo Meal", which was used as the basis for the Yes song "Roundabout". Yet, I was never compensated.
As Paul Harvey would say, "Now you know the rest of the story." Or some of the story. Or not much of the story, really. I've actually been deliberately wasting your time here. I apologize.