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Last Updated: 6/20/2009

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May 14, 2008 - Wednesday 7:39 AM
    my walk to work is approximately three to four songs long. i almost never feel as self-contained and full-to-the-brim as when i walk home at night listening to music and singing along because there aren't many people out. i sing and hum and sometimes whistle and i walk to the beat, and if it's a fast song, i'm going at a pretty decent clip, and i think to myself that maybe everything i've done in life has been getting me here. this city. this age. this selection of circumstances.
    when i made the decision to move here, i made the scary choice because when i asked myself what the person i wanted to be would do, well - she would sell her car, stuff as much as she could in three suitcases, and buy a one-way plane ticket. and since then i try to frame all of my choices the same way. this means i've been makng a series of brave, blunt, transparent, whimsical, adventurous, sure-why-the-fuck-not choices. the results of this are most apparent when i'm in stranger's houses late at night: playing with their bichon puppies, wearing their sweatshirts, taking the mike and singing the blues in a late-night jam session, reading aloud my favorite parts from my favorite books, drinking wine from plastic bottles, etc.
    and i make choices this way - big crosscountry choices and small singing in front of people choices - in hopes that someday i can stop acting like the person i want to be, and just be that person.
    i'll try to write more and be more anecdotal. i've been totally body focused - coming going moving dancing doing. i endeavor to get back to my words. or more precisely, i endeavor to put more words out there. i've got just as many words as ever, it's just these days, there are more people to dispense them to in real-time.
    on that note, harlan and i are collaborating on my upcoming real-person, grown-up, look-at-me-i-have-a-dot-com blog. stay tuned.
 
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