Bear with me, very tired person trying to blog. Might be the return of the ADD s
I went in the bakery at Walmart Monday (and I don't even know anyone in their bakery!) and the snack aisle. That wasn't very bright but I resisted the temptation and bought nothing. You see here's the deal: I want to lose weight more than I want a dozen cookies. There are two reasons I want to lose weight. The first is quality of life. I'll be straight up, I don't want to live to be 94. I don't but I do want the years I do have to be enjoyable. Serious health problems do not help with that. The second is something people are going to debate. Fact is that in dating looks matter. OK, OK I hear you. That's superficial, its what is inside that counts yada yada yada. OK if I may get a bit non humble for a minute: I'm a college graduate with a sense of humor working in one of our country's most respected professions and can't buy, beg, borrow or steal a date. So what's the problem? I"M TOO FAT!!! That may not be the only issue (I'm a bit strange and lack social confidence) but its the biggie.
Here's the deal. Fred and I were discussing this. Looks get you in the door, they absolutely do. There are hundreds, thousands of people in our midst. They go to our churches, attend our schools, work at our businesses and shop at our stores. There has to be a filter. What is the first thing you notice about a person, their looks. You have to. You have to see them before you can talk to them. If its like "Ooh look at him" you're going to want to get to know him better. If the dude is really big the initial interest just isn't going to be there. You've been filtered out and you have to find another key to unlock the door. Looks are a big part of attraction. They shouldn't be the only part but they are a big one. So looks get you in the door but if the lady is really worth dating you better be bringing something once you're inside. Looks are a filter but they wear off and if you don't have depth you'll be swimming with the fishes (that's a real mixed metaphor there).
OK, now for the good part. A while back I mentioned that someone suggested I list the qualities I would like in a date / mate. I thought it was a silly idea and kinda still do. But I thought about some things I would like. This isn't the normal honesty, intellect, humor sort of stuff. I mean its too obvious, I do not plow other people's land, I blaze my own trail. Furthermore, if you guys think its too mushy, tough. I don't want to date you anyway. I ain't singin' you no love songs no how so get offa my lawn!*
* Translation: If you are a guy, I have no intention of singing you a love song in any way, shape or form. So could you kindly vacate my property? Thank you.
On with my little list:
The first is a quality I don't quite have the words for. Which brings this up: I think I'm good with words but I find myself far too often admitting that I don't have the words for certain situations. Take the song "Listen to Our Hearts" by Geoff Moore (with an assist by Steven Curtis Chapman). The whole premise of the song is that they can't find words that can justify God's love and power. I sing along and say amen. I can't find the words either. I'm so not a wordsmith. And again, I don't know what words describe this quality I look for. The best I can do is sweet and cute but it doesn't quite do it justice. Or have we lost the original meaning of those words?
As an aside (because I loves me some asides) have you ever told a lady they are sweet & cute? Happy times man, I tell you. I had the opportunity recently to express my feelings for someone. What a distinct pleasure that was, if you enjoy having bats bounce around in your stomach. For some reason I knew back then but am at a loss to explain now why I decided this was a good idea. Actually it probably was but it didn't make it any easier. So I figure I ought to tell her why I have feelings for her. Cause saying you like someone with no reason why is a tad creepy, you know. I scripted some of what I was going to say (albeit it was a very quick turnaround time from idea to plan to coffee) but I didn't give much consideration to this part. And so sweet & cute came out. Uh, yeah, ungood. And she's thinking "You just told me why you like me and I still don't know". Should have added adorable. Looks like you'll be having cream in your coffee after all today Chris cause you're about to wear it. So she says "First of all I'm flattered you think I'm ... sweet". I wasn't the only one scripting that day. She did not even dignify cute. Anyway, I already knew she was interested in someone else (the HSS if you will) in a far away place but I wanted to get it out there because it felt more honest. It went well, 5 minutes of my feelings, an hour & a half of chatting about life (mostly hers which is fine by me). I think it worked out more to the good than to the bad.
No more asides. Some more traits.
The next thing I want is someone who gets my weird way of looking at life. We're walking in a store and see some ridiculous item and we both know it. Not thinking the same thing necessarily but bouncing off each other. In a related item I want her to be entertained by my silliness and vice versa. Life is silly, lets be honest about it.
The other ones are worse.
I want a girl who doesn't mind being called a girl, knowing that it isn't disrespectful. Ok, that wasn't worse but the next one is.
I want someone who will get enthuiastic whenever I feel proud over some ridiculously small achievement. College graduate, yeah I feel OK about it. But if I learn a new internet smiley I think I won a Nobel Prize (wonder if Obama knows how to do smileys? :) ). I want her to be proud of my achievement too and happy for me. And if I cook something, anything I think I just won the Super Bowl. Yeah I put the Super Bowl ahead of the Nobel Prize cause you have to earn the Super Bowl. I want her to be excited. It can even be a little sarcastic. As a matter of fact if its too geunine I think I'm not even buying this, its not like I won the Super Bowl or Nobel Prize or something.
They get progressively worse. Or better, depending ...
Next I want her to say good night to me every night. I eat that stuff up. Even before we're married, call me up and wish me a good night. Better yet nite nite. Combine nite nite with sweet dreams. Throw babe, hon or sweety in there too, again words fail to say how I feel when I hear that.
Finally my perfect scenario. My girl and I are in a group setting. I do something absolutely ridiculous as I sometimes do. Someone turns to her and says "That's your guy / boyfriend / husband". She smiles and sweetly laughs and says "Yeah he is".
Don't we all want that?