***NO ONE'S MUM EVER GOT KILLED IN A PUB BY A MAN WITH A 22. DID THEY?***

OK, so we're back from Prague in one piece, sort of... I can safely say there was a lot of brass on the last day. And night in fact. The trouble is I can't really say too much about some of the classic moments as most of them will appear on either Beat Stevie or the South Bank show who were also filming out there. I think it's safe to say there will be very little material that actually appears on both these fine programs.

The journey home on Friday night was enlivened by the fact that myself and Trim Vignon, the manager of the Streets, were on an earlier flight home to Heathrow. We live in West London you see, as opposed to everyone else who was flying to Gatwick, when they live in North London. Everyone knows North London is full of butters heads and West is Best.

Anyway, this meant that we had just enough time to grab a quick McCunty and jump on our flight, leaving the rest to fight over their seats with a bunch of stag parties. Much piss-taking followed when our fucking flight was delayed by an hour... damn you Czech airlines. The resultant stand off was quite exciting and fortunately the eastern European work ethic was in full force over their slovenly English work-shy colleagues and we were in the air first. It was a beautiful thing being tucked up in bed knowing the others still had hours to go, and even then they'd be home in North London. Gutted.

When you're on tour you get this kind of madness when you've spent too much time locked up in a room with each other and things such as this take on great importance....it has to be said Beat Stevie is the worst. He is the most competitive man in the world.

Fortunately, we only had about 6 hours to regain our senses till we were all back together for Mike's birthday party. This is the best party I've been to for a long time. I wish I had some pictures but my camera is fucked. Otherwise, there would be an amazing picture of Mike in a pair of pink Y-fronts complete with wet patch. I think Mike's latest blog explained the joy to be had with a piano and a bunch of prangers singing their little hearts out. He's failed to mention a number of important things tho.

a) we found out I'm the only one that doesn't shave his balls.

b) Waitrose mini burgers are the greatest invention since the wheel. (The Wagon Wheel.)

c) Red wine and The Goonies is the best way to come down.

d) In a war-based situation a 22 is no use. You need a mac 10 and a frag and a flashbang. Unless you are ex-military, in a combat situation the best thing you can do is get your cock out.

There's a new Beat Stevie up with Dizzee, and we're on Channel 4 at 1.20am this Friday night, with total exclusive stuff including the greatest interview with Matt Willis ever. We love Matt. He is a fucking legend.