So I have a request for an update...
I feel the need to excuse my absence from the grand fury that is Myspace.com.
I've been...well...absent.

It seems the approach of school and the resent decision to give up my gallery for the rest of the year had me in a sort of apathetic position.

Hours of gaming and retarded nights of substance induced hazes had me feeling pretty worthless.
Over this bout of wollowing in self pity I gained a lot of weight.
Lost a lot of momentum on my abstraction abilities...
Worked mindlessness to its wits end and became its hated friend.

I've been lazy and bored.

About 4 or 5 days  ago...a resurgence in inspiration, more sparkly moments of contemplation and physical awareness...
Dread and anticipation for what promisses to be the hardest 4 months of my life, as my final semester starts with a big ol' stack of books to buy and read and evaluate.
First reading assignments?
Oh...just a ton of Aristotle and comparative selection from the Qu'ran and Genesis....light reading really.
The books that will mold my mind in the near future?

Marx's Communist Manifesto
On the Dignity of Man
Heart of Darkness
The Art and Architechture of Islam
The Metaphysical Club
A handful of books with straightforward titles like "Mexico", "The Mayans", "Art of the Andes" and "The Aztecs"

and I've only had two of my 5 advanced art history classes at this point.

I'm both deeply anxious and pleasently excited about these next few months.
My fear is that with such a heavy school load, my already skimpy 20 hours of work per week may  have to be reduced, leaving me with an even skimpier allowence for the nearly 30 books I will have to purchase.

This is only one issue.

I have a slew of friends comming into town over the next week, one of which is here, back from Japan for a few more days before he returns, who I've seen for a total of what seemed like minutes, and probably won't be able to see again before he leaves on Sunday.
One of my roomates is leaving the apartment tomorrow and I'm desperately trying to set up someone else since I simply can't do without a third right now....its in the works, but our landlord just gives no slack... none....he's a heartless bastard who changes his mind often about when he's actually going to come by and fix things, which so far has been never, and how much our rent is going to be raised, which goes up in incriments of $25 every time I talk to him.
Its an endless game with him in which he re-presents his power over our ability survive, over and over again.


I should be asleep. I have to wake up at 6am.

I'm really not doing too horrible, I'm just intensly stressed after my first day of classes and work.

I feel like all I have to do is make it another few months of hell and poverty and my life will soon enough become worth this struggle I've endured for what has been 6 years now.

My 24th birthday proved to be a great testiment to my friends.
I was surprised and very pleased that every single one of my real friends made a good effort to call and visit me. It was truely the most fulfilling birthday I've ever had.

I have a loving boyfriend, a caring and wonderful roomate, and a huge loving and forgiving family blood related and personally adopted.

I'm in decent spirits, don't let the tone of this blog tell you otherwise. I'm just beat down right now and tired of always having to fight for the pennies and minutes that become ever more scarse.

So be it, I hope all of you are well and prepared for the long decent of summer to winter.
Keep warm in all senses, I'm doing my best dispite the cold breath on my neck.

Afterall it is a thin line between utter genius and absolute insanity.