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.02 tαɹαh ™ ιllιιllιl

Tarah Ross


Last Updated: 11/23/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 19
Sign: Scorpio

City: You make me scream
Country: OM
Signup Date: 1/20/2006

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March 26, 2006 - Sunday 

Category: Life
I hate myself. I really do. I'm getting back into the thought of thinking I'm really fat. I can't stop thinking it. It just won't stay out of my head. I've been eating a little less than I have been, really. I have my breakfast but then for lunch or dinner its becoming just toast. But now I just want to completely stop eating. This is what I think "If you stop eating, you WILL get skinnier. Just skip all the meals. Then you will look pretty." Why is it that I have to stress over this. Its driving me nuts. I know what will happen to me if I stop eating cause this has happen before. I was anerxic 2 years ago and got sick and fainted often.
But when I look into the mirror I see this ugly girl. I want to see a pretty girl. A nice skinny girl. When I think of this, about being fat and how I should stop eating, I get shaky. Its strange. When I start to think I'm fat I start ot shake. I am right now shanking. I can't help. OK, now I'm getting of subject. But really, I want to stop eating just so I can be skinny. But I also WANT to eat, BUT I DONT. It driving me nuts.
I know the consaquence's of not eating, but I still want to not eat.
Yea, Yea, people I look skinny or fine the way I am...
BUT I DONT! I want to be skinnier. And when I was anerxic, I lost 15 pounds in 2 weeks. Wow, is what I thought. I lost weight like that!

Why is I have to feel this way...
Why do I care so much of what people think of me...
tanuki™

 

T.he H.ero I.n Y.our O.pinion will save you of your self-anxiety!
Now I know what you're thinking.
You're probably all like:
[0vv0]?
But to tell you the truth, Tarah,
you're more attractive than you think.
Why should it matter what people think of what you look like?
I mean, I'm positive all your friends think you're pretty and
there's no doubt in my mind that Chris thinks you're gorgeous
so why think so poorly of yourself?
I once went through a little phase like that except I was
comparing myself to someone beyond compare.
Do you know an artist named Gackt?
Believe it or not, I used to be really jealous of him.
I mean, he's just such a perfect specimen.
The embodiment of beauty.
A total heartthrob.
For a time, I was really jealous of Sasuke, too.
Even a teddy bear!
Can you believe that?
I used to try so hard to be someone I'm not.
I used to hate myself for being so damn ugly
but I've come to accept myself just the way I am
and if people don't like it then they can fuck off because
that only goes to show how shallow they are to find
beauty in the exterior of everything they see.
How foolish of me to have thought so poorly of myself like that.
Never think poorly of yourself, Tarah.
The people you envy may be the ones that envy you.
Just thought I'd share that thought with you.
P[0vv0}
And I hope you feel better.
>[~0vv0~]<


 
Posted by tanuki™ on March 26, 2006 - Sunday - 8:50 PM
[Reply to this
{Lindsey} =]
lindsey bakthy

 

       well yea i had this one too i all ways think i need to impress some one well i stoped and started to think to figure out why. well this is what i du now i flick them off well yea its evil but it works well i gess i all ways think they wer better then me thats why i cared so much now when they say something to me like why du i du what i du i just say fuck off i am what i du and not what you think. it means i am my self and not what you whant me too be.~[-.-]~


 
Posted by {Lindsey} =] on March 26, 2006 - Sunday - 8:59 PM
[Reply to this
J☮E
Joe Alvarez

 

Tarah you really shouldnt care wat other people say about you.  I dont and im alrigth with my size, weight, style, attitude, etc.

your really skinny. skinnier than me and dont stress out that much

there are other ways to lose weight


 
Posted by J☮E on March 26, 2006 - Sunday - 9:15 PM
[Reply to this
S a r a h A n n™
Sarah Murdick

 
dude...like your boobs are like a KIGGILLION POUNDS!!
lol

I.L.O.V.E.Y.O.U <3

 
Posted by S a r a h A n n™ on April 7, 2006 - Friday - 3:45 AM
[Reply to this
.02 tαɹαh ™ ιllιιllιl
Tarah Ross

 
Hahaha, O YEA! How the hell could I forget that! Hah.
<33

 
Posted by .02 tαɹαh ™ ιllιιllιl on April 7, 2006 - Friday - 3:48 AM
[Reply to this
S a r a h A n n™
Sarah Murdick

 
like EACH!!

hah!


<333333

 
Posted by S a r a h A n n™ on April 7, 2006 - Friday - 3:48 AM
[Reply to this
Kieran
robert mendoza

 
whaaat..? im so sorry to hear this. you dont look fat at all. but i dont think this has to do with reality, its about how you see yourself thats the problem. not eating is deffinetly not the way to go, and you know this well. you should deffinetly eat, but if you feel so bad about it, you should eat fruits and such low carb things. that way, youll get yourself into thinking you are thining,which im sure you will be, but just to get your brain into thinking this. its all psychological. as for y you care abouyt what others think, dont blame yourself. its human nature to want other people's recognition. everyone feels this feeling of wanting to be accepted, so dont worry. well, hope things get better. take care, tarah.
 
Posted by Kieran on April 12, 2006 - Wednesday - 12:07 AM
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.02 tαɹαh ™ ιllιιllιl
Tarah Ross

 
.thank you. i'm trying not ta care to much on my apperance [but care alittle >_<] and not to get so depressed about it. i guess i can be dramatic sometimes. im trying ta eat fruits and low carb things...but they no taste good >_< lol so..i still eat the foods i like, but ive been working out ^^...3 miles 3 times a week @_@...and ive joined colorguard so that'll keep me active toz. .^^. thank you for replyingzz ^^, least i know someone cares enough to reply. thank you. i'm twying ta make thingz betta
 
Posted by .02 tαɹαh ™ ιllιιllιl on April 12, 2006 - Wednesday - 12:55 AM
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