300
By Dan Frigolette
Starring- No One You Know
I think it would be fair to assume that a good portion of you who are reading this saw the movie and just want to see what another would say in an attempt to confirm the feelings you had when you saw it as if to forge some bonding moments with the writer and relive the movie one more time. For you, I'm glad you're here and I appreciate the enthusiasm.
If that leaves any percent of my audience unrepresented I apologize on the one hand and slap you boldly across your face with the other and ask what are you waiting for?
The movie spent more than 6 months promoting itself on the internet...most notably on Myspace to build that need to view the carnage and action that viewers KNEW would be in store for them. They gave away very little of the movies action and back-story, a stroke of genius in my opinion. Those of you who have read me before understand my angst and opposition to movie previews. It is deep seeded and in my core. Created by big movie giveaways like Children of Men whose entire movie is better summarized in the preview than the 2 hours in the film, as well as joke killing over played teasers like in any pre-dramatic Carrey flick. Longwindedly said...this movie's promotion was perfect.
The story takes place in a world over run by a ubiquitous Turkish Empire that thirsted for more territory and outpopulated any of it opponents. The massiveness of the empire alone was its own strength and appeared in this film to also be its own weakness. A Spartan king our main character is so over confident and pride filled that he aims to put 300 of his male warriors with sons to carry out their names against a historically unproveable number of Turkish fighters. Numbers vary anywhere from 200,000 to 2,000,000 in their records. Yet against 300 soldiers that difference should be nominal.
Although this movie doesn't close with a happy ending the history of this battle holds that the Turkish army suffered such innumerable losses that they were defeated shortly after.
You can read about our main characters ab training in last months Men's Health but it is more his speech training I worry about. Our character's lack of normal toned speaking does not allow true decieferage but at the apex of character build I sensed a hint of a speech impediment in the powerful words: THIS IS SPARTA!!! These words yelled, as he kicks the bearer of bad news into a bottomless pit when asked to choose war or allowing his country to be enveloped into the empire. I can't confirm nor deny the impediment but is it possible to have a lisp only whilst yelling?
By now you'll realize you don't learn anything about the film from this review...and that's how I'll leave it. But here's a piece of information: You Should Go See it.
Filmed in the attempts to preserve the origins of this film a graphic novel (long comic book) by Frank Miller (Marvel Comic All-Star) it brings the energy and comradery of Braveheart, and the originality and visual interest of Sin City. Packed with physically deformed giants, wonderfully formed abdominals, and Sun Tzu battle strategy, the movie 300 is worth the hype and maybe a little more.
300 can be seen every half hour at a theater near you for at least the next week. Stop looking at porn and go see what I'm talking about.
Peak selling points
High body count.
Lots of action.
Lots of freaks.
Four transexuals.
And a humpback in a pair trio.
Beats a partridge any day.
Environment Highlight
It can only be my assumption to say out loud that if you don't have to lift your feet to avoid a toppled Diet Dr. Pepper for the entire 2nd half of the movie, you will get much more enjoyment out of the film. Although I can say…holding up my legs in the air for 60 mins gets me and my sore abdominals much closer to starring in the sequel to this film.