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Jahn Benjamin



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Status: Single
City: Durango
State: Colorado
Country: US
Signup Date: 11/4/2004
Wednesday, June 25, 2008 

Current mood:  contemplative
Category: Life
I'm sitting at the bar after my shift, waiting for breakfast with enough liquor in me to notice.

Feeling alone ... weak ... and tired above all.

Delirious ... living somewhere on the cusp between awake and asleep. Been dancing with ghosts for so long now they're becoming as real as .... whatever's real ... I take note of the imposition but don't seem to have it in me care much less act.

And then a little blond haired girl comes running around the corner ... shes swerving back and forth with both arms out at her sides ... huge smile on her face, the kind you couldn't take off if you wanted to ... she's running her hands across the legs of the bar stools as she passed, laughter just exploding out of her uncontrollably with each turn.

Then mom catches up ... soft and calm.

"Can you hold sill please."
"Can you not move your body?"
"Can you hold still, and not move your body please?"

Loving and understanding ... seemingly very wise.

The girl manages to come down just long enough to allow her face cleaned of dinner. She stands both arms outstretched towards the floor, cocked back behind her back a bit ... chin up and eyes closed until the job is done.

Then it's back at it ... getting back up to speed with a couple awkward high knees and a giggle. Swerving back the way she had come.

So honest ... so real.

No past, no future, and what does the moment bring her?

I sit lost in darkness ... surrounded by ghosts from the past, questioning the future ... and in the same moment not ten feet from me a little girl is having the time of her life with some bar stools.

Anyway ... thought I'd share.
2:10 AM
 
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