I woke up gasping and bolted upright. "Fuck", I growled at myself, "You always find a way to fuck things up…" I glanced at the alarm clock and to my horror it said 7:40 am. The night before I had been unable to sleep, much like when I was ten and tossed restlessly in that hot hotel room in Orlando. The excitement and anticipation had kept my mind dancing around the possibilities of the next day, like a kid before the first day of school. I remembered seeing the sky outside my window turning blue, when I was eventually able to drift off into sleep.
I rushed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Not waiting for it to heat up, I jumped in and received an invigorating shock as the cold water cascaded over my body. Shampoo, soap, rinse. I was automatic and was done before the shower had a chance to heat up. I jumped out and lathered the shaving gel on my face. Hurrying I nicked my jawbone. "Fuck", I mumbled as I washed the remaining shaving cream off my face. Applying the after shave lotion . Ordinarily I would have put in my contacts first, but in my rush I had screwed up the order. Now the remnants of alcohol from the aftershave made my eyes sting as I put the contacts in. Finally with blurry vision I got them in. I quickly brushed my teeth, put on my watch and walked naked into the bedroom.
Opening the top drawer I pulled out a pair of boxer shorts, and moved over to my suit, grabbing the pants off the hanger. I put the pants on, grabbed a belt, and pulled some socks on my feet. Next I selected my favorite cyan blue shirt, and grabbed my lucky tie. I went in the bathroom gave myself the one over in the mirror, put some pomade in my hair and then grabbed my jacket. Next were the shoes, which I slipped my feet in and then tied. Picking up my shoulder bag, I threw my spare phone batteries into the bag. Glancing at the clock it was now 7:55. "Shit", I said to myself, "they said 8:45". I grabbed my keys, my wallet, cell phone, a set of plans, and my headphones, before turning for the door.
I locked the door behind me and hurried towards the subway. I had gone about a block of the 10 blocks to the subway, when I decided that it would be best to jog. I started into a light jog, because I didn't want to sweat too much prior to getting to the subway. As I jogged down the street I noticed my best friend from high school sitting on a bench with his girlfriend drinking a coffee. "Late", I said as I jogged by. He replied, "Have a good first day."
When I got to the subway, I wiped the sweat from my brow, and glanced at my watch. 8:10 it read. "Fuck, only thirty five minutes", I thought to myself as I put my headphones in and queued up Custom Concern. I waited impatiently at the platform for the train to arrive as I whispered the words of the song to myself. After about three minutes it came, and as usual it was crowded. I pushed myself in and was greeted with the smiling face of one of my ex-employees. "Hey, how are you", I inquired?
" Fine, just heading in.."
"Cool, I am late…"
I pulled my tie out of my jacket pocket and tried to tie it using my reflection in the subway window. I missed the length and unpulled the knot. Trying again I got the length correct but was having problems getting the knot centered. I turned to my ex employee and asked, "Can you help me with this."
"Sure," he smiled back. He grasped the knot between his fingers and was able to get the knot centered & correctly proportioned. "Thanks," I said. "No problem," he replied. The next stop was 1st Avenue and he said goodbye as he got off the subway.
When we got to Union Square, the majority of the passengers got off giving me room, and the train conductor announced that because of trains ahead of us we would be waiting at the platform. "Fuck," I mumbled to myself as I glanced at my watch. It read 8:20. As I impatiently waited for the train to move again, the serenity prayer popped into my mind.
"Grant me the courage to accept the things that I cannot change,
The strength to change the things that I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference."
I let my breath slip into a deep and regular breath. I focused on the air as it entered my nose, was constricted by my throat, and filled my lungs until my belly eventually expanded. I focused on my breathing, allowing its regular rhythm to relax me and realizing that I had no control over the train. If I was going to be late it had already been decided and no amount of my frustration would change that. On the bottom of my second inhale the doors dinged and shut. We were in motion again.
We arrived at the next station, I exited the train and glanced around for signs pointing me towards my connecting train. I located the sign pointing me in the right direction, and rushed up the stairs to the connecting platform, almost bumping into a scientologist hawking a free stress test. As I reached the top of the stairs, and stepped onto the platform, an uptown train entered the station. I hurriedly continued down the platform as it stopped. I stepped on and glanced at my watch. It read 8:30.
The train was full of business men in suits, tightly packed together. However two doors down there was a homeless man, his hair knotty, a scruffy unkempt beard, extremely dirty tattered clothing, and a forty ounce of Budweiser in his hand. I could see that he was saying something, so I pulled out my earbuds. "All you rats…", he was mumbling. With the noise from the train and his mumbling, it was impossible to hear what he was actually saying, but from the leering looks he gave us it was evident that he was cursing those of us who were going to work. Everyone kept their distance and a wary eye on him, as the train pulled into my station.
I jumped off the train and started moving towards the head of the train platform, knowing which exit would be the best. As I got to the surface, my eyes readjusted to the site of One Bryant Park being constructed. Ever since I had first read two years ago about this building, which is on track to be the first building Leeds Certified Platinum, I have been in love with it.
My phone rang as my feet hit the sidewalk and I answered.
"Where are you?", the voice of one of my ex partners asked.
"I am getting off the subway right now, on sixth ave. Where are you?"
"I am on the corner of sixth and 45th."
"Cool, I will see you in a minute."
I crossed the street and walked by the building where my ex fiancée works. I remembered her snarling at me one night when she was drunk, "I should have stayed with my ex, at least he had a career."
I saw Sami on the corner and walked up to him. "Here are the plans for the townhouse," I said, " I am sorry that I can't help you anymore with this job, but my heart isn't in it"'
He tried one last time to keep me in the deal…
"How about if I give you a larger percentage?"
"Sorry Sami, I am just not interested."
He jumped in his van and pulled off down Sixth Avenue. I watched his beat up Econo-line van disappear into the canyon that the skyscrapers create, watching that chapter of my life close. I crossed the street and headed to my new office. I entered the building and pressed the button for the correct floor. I looked up and recognized the man standing across from me on the elevator.
"Henri," he asked?
"Julius?" He was a friend I had met when I had first moved to the city. At that time I had been jealous of him because he was the CFO of a company that organized industry tradeshows. In those days of uncertainty, he had had the secure corporate job, and now he was in the elevator across from me.
"Do you work in this building?"
"Yeah," he replied. "How about you?"
"First Day…"
At that moment the elevator stopped and he got off. "Good to see you, and good luck," he said.
"See you around", I replied as the doors closed behind him. I glanced at my watch and it said 8:47.
The next stop was my floor and at the door there was a woman waiting. She looked at me, and asked if I knew how to get in. I replied that it was my first day so I wasn't sure, but asked if she had rung the bell. At that moment the door opened, and the office manager who I had met at my interview opened the door. "Henri, I hope you haven't been waiting long", she said, "Come on in." She showed Laura (the woman who had been waiting at the front door) and I to the conference room where there were the customary array of forms that you fill out. Laura looked at me and asked, "So your joining the firm as a partner."
"No, I wish…" I chuckled.
After filling out my forms, the office manager led me into the executive conference room, where the managing director who had interviewed me greeted me at the door, shook my hand pointed me to a seat. Across from me sat the partners, and the managing director said, "Gentlemen, this is the man who is going to direct the rehabilitation of our portfolio." I looked into the faces of the business men whose names I had read in articles and knew that I had arrived.