If myspace were REAL life: Tila Tequila and Tom would know everyone in the whole world. You'd be asking Jeffree Star how his latest surgery went. Anyone would ask Forbidden out. You would struggle over the time it takes someone you like to crack your top 8. 19 year old boys wouldn't own shirts and 19 year old girls would not own pants. If you're a fat girl, people would only see you from the shoulders up. Girls would always be posing, cheeks sucked in and lips puckered two feet off their face. Your attraction to someone would be based on their favorite clothing label, their favorite band, and a survey. All females are bi and all males drive import muscle cars. Your driver's license would have hearts around your name or quote from an emo song. The phrases "Yo," "your hawt," or "hit me back some time" would attract the opposite sex. You would do anything to be considered as one of someone's top 8 friends. Bands with 3 song demos could book stadium tours. Gay guys would probably decorate the whole inside of their house with posters of guys making out It would be perfectly acceptable to blurt out any random filthy perverted sexual thought or feelings at any random woman/man you thought was "hawt" as a first greeting. It would be no more unusual to see a man walking around displaying his erect, naked penis than it would be to see random women running around in a g-string w/nothing covering their breasts but their hands. Everyday when you walk down the street you'd see some 8th grade girl dressed up like a slut. You'd have a bunch of desperate little middle school and junior high girls who would constantly say to older high school/college guys "OMFG you're soooo hott!" Every man from the o.c. would have sleeves. You would look your very best at all times. Everyone would make $100,000 a year or higher. There would be a lot of youthful looking 99 year olds. No one would own a book in their house since so many people claim that they dont read or give some other crappy excuse. Most people would own at least one of these movies in their house: Napoleon Dynamite, Are We There Yet, Mean Girls, Freaky Friday, White Chicks, American Pie, 10 Things I Hate About You, Dude Wheres My Car, Nightmare Before Christmas, Finding Nemo, Madagascar, Shark Tale, and The Incredibles Blogs would be newspapers that tell about other peoples thoughts and feelings and stories that have happened with them that would be required to read, and any random thought in your head no matter how personal, depressing, or inappropriate would always be shared with everyone. Everywhere you would walk, an image of Angelina Jolie would be behind you. Everyone would wear their most coolest, trendy, name brand clothes and T-shirts and get the most trendy scene haircuts to get more friends and attract the opposite sex. Forbidden would actually be hot. You'd have a friend named Tom creepily following you around giving you bad news constantly. Everyone who is so desperate for more friends would come over to your house with a big smile on their face just to say "Hey, thanks for the add!" It wouldn't be odd to have Brad Pitt, Hilary Duff, Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears, Jesse McCartney, Justin Timberlake, Gerald Way, or Mary Kate and Ashley in your circle of friends. Hello Kitty would be a real person. Everyday conversations would sound like this "How are you?" Sent. "Good, how are you?" Replied. During a long conversation you'd have to say "Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: all right, well call me later." When it was time for bed you would say you're "Undergoing Maintenance." You would have to paint your walls using Thomas Myspace Editor codes in your apartment. Stewie from Family Guy would be your best friend. In your circle of friends you would hang out with Scottsdale bars and clothing lines. When someone said something funny, you'd actually roll around on the floor and laugh your fucking ass off. "Friend Whoring" is equal to STD's. "Stupid MySpace!" is the only universally known term in any language to show anger. At nights when you are asleep you would get people running in your room that you don't know saying. "It's 4 a.m., I can't sleep, someone talk to me." Bands go to your house constantly and ask you to give them a listen because they see that you like a band they sound nothing like. Anytime you walk into someones house they have the same video or song playing all the time, non-stop for three months straight. Visting someone else's house who could live hundreds of miles away from you would be easy to visit in just a matter of seconds. Everytime no one would visit your house to say something to you for like one day, you would get pissed off and call everyone on your list of friends just to say OMG Im so sad and depressed and not feeling well, someone talk to me and give me attention! Every couple of days you would threaten all your friends to take their information out of your cell phone and delete them, since they haven't called you in, like, four days. People would run up to you, tell you a random message, and you'd have 17 minutes and 13 seconds to pass it along before a ghost came to your house and raped your dog. People would inexplicably be stuck in their homes for hours unable communicate with the outside world because someone put up a large white wall in front of every door and window with a note attached saying Sorry but an unexpected error has occurred!