I don't feel sorry for you
I worry about all of us
me you and everyone else
who cares about things beyond ourselves
what does caring about more than oneself mean
well, wondering why ones dad doesn't love or connect with them
is not selfish
wondering why other pivotal older authority figures
don't even bother to take the time to care
is not selfish,
but we can go either way at certain junctions
we can dish up that indifference
10 times harder
and more impressive
or become the opposite,
become the kind of
relatives and older people
we've always needed
and have once in a blue moon
have lucked into
or
have had to claw for
whether it be in our teenage years or way beyond
it's always a choice
with no excuses
we do choose
who we want to become
I am by no means perfect or saintly
but I have really put a lot of effort into
becoming the kind of person
that I've always wished to be
and I am by no means finished
I myself got a dog to help me learn and remember a lot of things
but it is all about who one surrounds themselves with
and don't the assholes come out
when they see weakness
and vulnerability
as opposed to the true friends and family
who plead to us to not to go walking with the assholes
the ones who without arrogance but only with concern
tell us things?
People who are on a destructive path KNOW quite well they are
and it is all of our choices as to who we listen to and who we let in
maybe not when we're teenagers but there's life beyond the teenage years
and it is pretty wonderful
I may not be the best spokesperson for anything
but the older I do get the happier I get and terms of
coming to grips with things and discovering new possibilities
I am not bullshitting you, life can be pretty wonderful
and pretty cool depending on who you surround yourself
with even during those dark nights of the soul when you
want to call someone up and sob uncontrollably to.
I am not kidding, there is no need for fraternizing with bottom feeders
who prey off of people (I include myself here) who 'think too much'
or whatever one wants to call us.
We are all of us more valuable than the sum of our parts
but if what we project is that we are willing to part ourselves out for acceptance
then who can ever respect us
first and foremost ourselves
we are more than our boobs and our asses our guitar playing or mathematic skills
but it is up to us ourselves to recognize and value that our own unrecognized well roundedness. If person doesn't jump into some kind of mix maybe no one else will ever know they've been alive, life IS meant to be adventurous and fun and learning, isn't it?
respectfully
-Monica N.
.