From Davey D's blog...


Why He Won't Call

By Darryl James of Eur Report

Women are always asking me what men are thinking.

One of the most frequent questions that come up on the subject of dating is: "Why won't he call?"

The answer is not simple, because contrary to what some women may believe, Most men do not all think the same way.

Some of us have good intentions, some have bad intentions and some of us just get caught up with this thing called life.

In another Black Top Ten List, I'd like to present a few possible reasons why men don't call women or don't call women back after interest has been expressed.


Top Ten Reasons Why He Wont Call:

1. He thought things over and decided that there just wasn't enough between the two of you.

Maybe you only shared one phone conversation. Perhaps you only went out one time and there was no chemistry. Women do the same thing. Sometimes it's simply just not worth the energy required to explain something to someone you don't plan on seeing again.

2. He thought about something you said and decided that you and he think too divergently.

If you had a conversation about politics, religion or some other hot button topic that just didn't go well, perhaps he has decided that he doesn't want more of the same.

3. He's a little shy and is trying to figure out what to say.

Some women question a man's manhood if he is shy, but the reality is that most of us are, and sometimes, just sometimes, we have trouble finding the right thing to say, or finding something to say, at what you women consider "the right time".

4. He has a wife or girlfriend and got caught with your number.

5. He has a wife or girlfriend and decided not to cheat on her.

6. He met someone else and decided to give his focus to her.

This doesn't mean that he is a dog for dating more than one woman (after all most women have men on the side). It simply means that he was getting to know more than one woman and decided to narrow the field. You just weren't included in the narrowed field.

7. Something in his life changed which has nothing to do with you.

We're all human. Sometimes, things come up in our lives that take us away from socializing at all.

8. He has been too busy and hasn't gotten around to calling you.

Maybe your idea of how soon he should call is different from his idea. If you think he has taken too long and your phone isnt broken, perhaps you should call him. Especially when you really like him. Trust me, men will not 'dodge you' like women frequently do.

9. You spent most of the time on the first date or on the phone telling him how horrible men are, especially the men you have dated in your past.

You may have said that there are no good men, or REAL men available, but if he is a good man, or a REAL MAN, that statement is a huge turnoff. For example, we don't want to hear about how all men are dogs, or about "most" Black men being with white women or on the down low, or how "most" men are not on your level. If he isn't like the horrible men you're talking about, he probably has no desire to convince you that good men or REAL Men really exist, especially when there's one starin you in the face.

10. He was looking for someone to share his life with, but you demonstrated that you don't share much, especially in terms of expenses when you go out.

Whether you tell a man that you are an "Independent Woman," or an "Old Fashioned Woman," its just not cool to refuse to share, or even at least make an OFFER to share, when you are dating. It can get tiresome, boring and stupid when a man has to wine and dine, entertain, chauffeur and shower a woman with gifts without reciprocity. No one has come up with a good reason why the man has to pay for everything. Just like women, we like to be treated nice too.

Just as you want men who love and respect women, we are looking for women who love and respect men. We want someone who listens, shares, views us with hope and who demonstrates character.

Some women love to tell men the reasons why we exhibit a certain behavior. Many times, those reasons are wrong and the women touting those lies have no desire to get the real information. Leave your negativity at home when interested in a good man or REAL MAN.

Ladies, some of us truely are open and honest. Ask a question and you may actually get an answer, even if it's an answer you don't want or won't like.

The reason why we don't call or don't call back is not always about 'you' or even what you think it is.

At the end of the day, you have to decide if you like him or not. If you do, perhaps you should make certain that you also have his number so that you can call him. If you don't, then you should stop worrying about why he doesn't call, and move on.


Darryl James is an award-winning author who is now a filmmaker. His first mini-movie, "Crack," was released in March of this year.

James latest book, "Bridging The Black Gender Gap," is the basis of his lectures and seminars.

Previous installments of this column can now be viewed at www.bridgecolumn.com.
James can be reached at djames@theblackgendergap.com.