You know, with all the excitement of Jay Leno's pending retirement, I forgot to post last weeks Week In Review! So, in Leno's honor, I've posted 9 pages of Monica Lewinski jokes below!
(pause for laughter)
Seriously... here is this week's jokes with last weeks jokes sprinkled in... see if you can tell which are which:
* “Octomom” Nadya Suleman has signed a deal to star in a new reality TV series... the show is gonna be called "8 Is Enough... To Ruin Your Vagina."
* A car traveling in Switzerland lost all four wheels simultaneously, coming to an immediate halt in the middle of the highway over the weekend... the weird part is that it's still in better shape than GM.
* Speaking at the National Press Club, former Republican Vice President Dick Cheney cast his support for gay marriage... you know, I'm starting to wonder what people really got shot in the face with on those hunting trips.
* The Disney Channel has ordered a 4th season of their hit show "Hannah Montana"... Miley Cyrus said that originally, she didn't want to do another season, but it was this or her dad would subject the world to another Achey Breaky Bodypart.
* President Obama and his wife Michelle went on a date night over the weekend. They flew to New York to catch a Broadway... and he hasn't come out in support of gay marriage?
* A 53 year old man died after he participated in a challenge on the Bulgarian version of Survivor.... the challenge he failed to win was, "live an entire day in Bulgaria."
* Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa is dating a TV news person, less than two years after his affair with different local newscaster led to the breakup of his marriage. When reached for comment, the Mayor said that in his line of work, he thinx it's important to stay on top of the news.
* Brooke Sheilds has revealed that she was a virgin until she was 22 years old… which is kinda shocking until you realize that was 12 years longer than Michael Jackson let McCauley Culkin keep his.
* The US military is close to finding a way to control tiny beetles with robotics in an effort to use them as combat weapons... If you ask me, I still think that the best way to control a Beatle is to make it marry Yoko Ono.
* A man in Taiwan drank himself to death at his wedding over the weekend… I guess he took the “till death did them part” thing very literally.
* A flight attendant from London has been convicted of leaving a bomb threat on a British Airways jet. The threat was left in the form of a Dave Coullier CD.
* New Zealand police are searching for a couple who disappeared after their bank accidently deposited 6 million dollars in their bank account. Police don’t have any leads but they are looking for crooks in REALLY expensive disguises.
* A man in an ape costume has been stealing banana displays all across Wisconsin… Police don’t have any leads, but they are searching hotel rooms for smashed luggage.
* The Madame Tussoes in Las Vegas just unveiled a new wax likeness of magician Criss Angle. The statue is so realistic that it's already been seen hooking up with three skanky statues and a pack of relighting birthday candles.
Come back next week and see if the new jokes are here!