Excerpt from the historical records of NewEarth. V23Ch122
As a young man Prez Powerz used many strange abilities to fight a crossworld civil war. Fiercely independant in his actions and beliefs, he struggled for personal and planet wide freedom. In the summer of 2006 he is quoted as saying...
" FREEDOM FIGHTER FUNK, PUNK!!!!!"
This became one of his many calling cards in our reality, and according to crossquantum communication the phrase is extremely popular on many AlterEarths. Muttered by villains and chanted by countless crowds, it was more than a catch phrase, it was a way of life.
Many felt the empowerment of these words. But many felt only the power. One such villain, Telepathic Patrick Price a.k.a. TelePatrick learned the hard way. On AlterEarth 12, T.P.P. (as he referred to himself) was an old man when he faced off with Prez Powerz, and he soon found that he was out of his league.
AE12 was, at this time, a confused world. Obsessed with Celebrity, cosmetic surgeons altered people's appearance to resemble a host of actors, artists, and celebutaunts. TelePatrick took advantage of this by telepathically organizing these lost souls into violent gangs. And so it was that The Hiltons fought The Richies, The Jolies fought The Annistons, The Pacs fought The Biggies etc, etc. These were misguided battles, and although some were more serious than others, these turf wars did nothing but bring Telepatrick and his evil affiliates profits.
Enter Prez Powerz.
His time of arrival in this world is unknown, it is theorized that he may have indulged in the local culture for a while before making his move. At any rate it was during a particularly chaotic day in NewCelebCity that Prez made himself known to the world...
Within a dark alley on Hollywood Ave. a superdiamond studded white gloved hand of one of the Jackson Gang broke the legs of twenty Timberlakes. This brutal beating set off a wave of violence that spread throughout the city, a surreal sight to say the least. Oprahs beat the stuffing out of Tom Cruises, Jessica Simpsons bit the tongues out of Ashlee Simpsons, and on and on. Each clone was more obscure than the last but all were equally brutal and equally robotic.
Yet as the violence raged on, the Elvis Syndicate, clad in rhinestone jumpsuits, stole everything in sight. Banks were robbed with Hyper-Hip Swivels and snarled demands to "give up the goods, thank you, thank very much" followed by"The Elvis' have left the building." They had managed to loot every bank in the city within a few hours, escaping virtually unnoticed amidst battle cries of "That's Hot", and "Let's Roll". No one could stop them.
But somehow Prez noticed the pattern, (this is one of his recurring powers and it is theorized that it was one of the superhuman abilities he was born with, as opposed to the gifts he was granted during the war.) And so he followed the Elvis' to their secret location, which, predictably, turned out to be the headquarters of a bedridden TelePatrick,who relaxed while weak minded lookalikes did his bidding. Two AnnaNicoles rubbed his feet while three Brad Pitts prepared his dinner. Bikini clad heiresses fanned him with feathers as he laughed at the gullibility of his worlds people. And then the laughter stopped.
Prez strolled in firing his sound gun at the attacking Celebri-clones, and each one danced into a sound sleep as he continued untouched toward a cursing TelePatrick. The madman tried every psychic attack he could think of, but nothing effected Prez Powerz. He just kept coming.
"This can not be, no brain is open enough to close itself to me", he said.
Prez cracked a slight smile, reversed the setting on his gun and squeezed the trigger. The effect was stunning, colors streamed from TelePatrick's eyes illuminated the entire complex. Orange memories, purple dreams and black ideas poured out of the old man's mind and found their home within that wonderful weapon. And when Prez next pulled the trigger, the recycled energy created the most beautiful noise. A sound that awoke every Spears, every Federline, and every other misguided clone out of their deep celebri-sleep. And when they opened their eyes they saw Prez with his sound gun pointing to the sky singing, "FREEDOM FIGHTER FUNK PUNK!"
Crowds of lookalikes surrounded him cheering the words and rambling on about his appearance, "Take a picture, I need to have the image for my surgeon, I must be like him" said one. "I wanna be a Powerz, he's the new me" said another. But then Prez spoke with a thunderous voice,
"NO!" he cried. " Don't you people understand that envy and false idols are the evils that have your world in such a state. If you truly want to be like me, then be yourselves. Original ideas and creative people are the only way for this reality to grow to it's fullest potential"
And with those words and a raised fist Prez Powerz disintegrated into a beam of light, presumably reintegrated into a new reality where he continued his fight for freedom.
Historical Record V23Ch122
end transmission