I saw some girl at the grocery store. She was cute and wore glasses. She was behind me in line, and ran her cart into my ass as I was getting ready to leave. Before I started my car, I had made the bold decision to get out, go back into the store, and introduce myself. When I drove through the parking lot to leave, I saw her on my way. She looked at me as I drove away. Had I decided to talk to her, the scene could have played out three different ways:

When she ran into my ass with her cart, I could have first walked away, stopped, hesitating, then turned around and approached her.

"You know what, this is going to seem forward, but I think you're cute, and it's going to bug me if I don't introduce myself, or at least say 'hi' to you. So, uh, hi. I'm Matt."

She would first hesitate, looking at me slightly confused, but as the threat quickly wears off, she relents and shakes my hand. She introduces herself, and we exchange phone numbers.

In the second, slightly different way, I march bravely back into the store, and deliver the same speech, with the same outcome. The third way involves me driving next to her as I was driving away, rolling down the window and saying "hello". She would be more confused and possibly alarmed by this, so the introduction is altered slightly:

"Hi. Um...this is probably really weird, maybe even creepy, but...you know what, hold on."

I put the car in park and step out, much to the annoyance of the other people in their cars, attempting to either leave or get to their cars to put their groceries away. I approach her and say:

"So, I saw you in the store, and I thought you were cute, and I would hate myself if I didn't introduce myself, or at least say 'hi' so, uh, hi. I'm Matt."

We would then introduce ourselves. She would smile and laugh int he process. Nothing this spontaneous happens to either of us, much less in such a mundane location as the grocery store. But none of that happened. Instead, I chose to just go home and eat one of the frozen pizzas I bought.

I decided on my way home, if I ever see her there again, the stars have aligned specifically for us, and I'll try and not be a pussy and introduce myself. But only if I see here at the store again. If I see her anywhere else, it would be weird. Until then, I'll be posting this on craigslist, under "missed connections".