Okay, so today wasn't too bad...pretty nice.  Things were quiet, boring...how things should be in the middle of a small hick Utah human town.

However, I think the inbred cats staying outside are informants for my captors, for they seem to be watching my every move.  They aren't ever let into the house like yours truly, but I can feel their hatred.

My faithful follower Hipster, who is one of the neighborhood's only Siamese kitties, and I began contemplating what I was going to do when i ruled the world.  It was a question I was able to answer in five sentences:

1.  I shall rid the world of all idiotic wannabe rockstar teenage humans.  They annoy the heck out of me.

2. I shall give Drew Barrymore the finger (er...the paw) as I am marching down the streets of the NEW Hollywood, the place where movies will be GOOD for a change!

3. I shall make Adam Sandler and Robin Williams my personal stand-up comic entertainers, because they are the funniest humans alive.

4. Cats will be worshipped as sexy gods and goddesses.  These religious wars and ceremonies are terrific examples of how pathetic and out-dated most humans are, so with one religion, we will be able to concentrate on unity instead of duking it out over who is better: God or Bob Barker.

5. The internet will consist of only ONE website, and that's the one that my faithful follower Josh is building right now (rather slowly, I might add).  All others will be removed.  Microsoft blows, so MSN will be the first to go.

After we were done with our contemplations, Hipster and I decided to embark on a short journey to make my captors' dog more miserable by batting him in the nose with our paws.  It was bliss.