Love...where does it come from? what is it?  how does it work?  is there really love at all?  these questions pound me...

growing up i saw it in my family...i saw it in my parents...i heard about it on tv and watched the various ideas of what love was and how it worked it's way out in life (or hollywood's version of life)...the thing is i never felt it...i never knew it personally as anything other than a grand loyalty in my family...when my parents would make decisions that didn't seem to be loyal to me,,i thought they didn't love me...it wasn't until i really looked for love that i found love doesn't want my comfort or my pleasure; it wants something more...it wants the best for me...sometimes making me a better me is painful to me...although,,my greatest treasures and attributes have been gained at a price...

i have asked many of my friends to define love...i haven't had one be able to articulate it...to them it was some feeling you just know...if you don't know what it is,,then how can you say that you love someone...it seems to me that your telling someone you love them without knowing what love is would have no meaning unless both have felt it...but that in itself is a poor place to hang your hat...feelings are deceptive...example being,,one may be guilty of stealing but not feel guilty and possibly even feel joy in it...and no two feel the same way exactly...

let us look at what most people would agree is a description of what love is...patient,,kind,,self-sacrificing,,not boastful of itself,,it is not jealous,,is not proud,,not rude,,slow to anger,,doesn't keep records of past wrongs,,forgiving,,protecting,,trusting,,hopeful,,honest in seeking truth...i would say love is all these and nothing less...possibly more...i would say it never fails and it always perserveres...some would disagree with me on that...

the current idea of love is that it isn't perservering...it's there just as long as the feeling is there...it is patient,,but to a point...is that truely patience?  patience isn't a virtue if it is only practiced when convenient...same with all the other descriptions...i would argue that if it is a passing feeling,,it is then none of the previous mentioned adjectives...

if we look at what we might agree love is in the phrases chosen above,,each is active in a positive or negative sense...love does this or does not do this...very little attention is paid to feeling...i presume one can love without feeling lovely...that's where hope,,trust,,perserverance and never ceasing take over...

but that is a description and not actually saying what it is essentially...we are stating what it is like...there is a feeling of essense that is tangible to the senses...what it is in essense is a mystery...this mystery is what fodders the fuel of the artist and makes for the possibility of infinite creative endeavors and infinite love songs...it allows people to never give up,,because it is real in a felt way...

this love song explores that mystery as part of my search to know love and it's un-describably tangible relational connection...or the touch of love when the actual touch of the person is not there...when you are not in the presence of your love but are still in the presence of love...thus it was devoted to my love as a "Song for Jami..."