So even though I dream about my Mom a lot, the dreams usually make me feel better and they're happy-type ones, you know? Last night was a doozy though. I haven't had a really sad one since right after she died. I started crying in my sleep I guess, cause I woke up because I couldn't breathe well - my nose was all stuffed and my face was soaked. It woke my grandma up too. I was dreaming that it was the day before my Mom died, but I knew that it was going to happen the next day. I was hugging her and telling her I loved her cause I knew what was going to happen. She was just laughing and asking what I was doing and what was wrong with me (we were never huggy-feely so naturally if I ever went to hug her she'd be all "wtf are you doing?" lol) and I started crying because I knew I was going to lose her and couldn't tell her. And when I woke up I pretty much felt the same as I felt right after she died. Ugh it was awful. That totally fucked with my head all day today.

I decorated the whole house for Halloween, and made a cake, probably because I needed to get my mind away from it. And here I am writing about it, right back to thinking about it again. Then of course my grandma said that when a dream like that happens, it means the person you lost is thinking of you and to say a prayer for them, which made me even sadder. She has good intentions but she sure does know how to pull the heartstrings! lol

I took a load of pics of Halloween decorations. Gonna go make a folder for them and post them in an album on here now, so check them out when they're uploaded!