Big telly's rule. My flatmate's managed to wangle a free 32" Sony HD TV with free SKY for the next 6 months.

It's got one of those LCD screen things and is slimmer than a credit card. Or Peter Crouch. Or something. It's really slim anyway.

The amazing thing about HD is that the picture is so pin-point sharp many presenters are having to scrub up their appearances as a result. Indeed, some female presenters who have hidden away their wrinkles and blemishes are going to need to radically improve their make-up techniques if they're to continue conning their way into the FHM top 100 lists. There's no more room for flattering lighting or soft focus lenses.

What's more; my mate was telling me - so it  must be true - that SKY Sports football anchor, Richard Keys, has actually had to shave the backs of his hands due to the improbable levels of monkey hair that afflict him.

As such, I can help but wonder if the crisper, sharper quality of broadcast will finally help unmask Jeremy Clarkson, for the smug, pubeheaded, Tory cock-muncher he really is.