This is a recounting of the Five Alarm Funk and their zany adventures on the road for New Year's eve 2007. It's being recounted by me, so not everyone is in every part, mostly because I hate most of them, but actually, it's really because there were 2 vans and I was only in one of them. So there ya go, some funny happening's are not recounted because I WASN'T FUCKIN THERE. Get over it.

Friday December 29th 2006
I show up at the jam space at 12:15, just in time to miss all of the loading, and I find out Eli isn't coming on the trip because 10 hours and more in a van wouldn't be good for his neck. True enough, but we ARE down a man for the show. Ah well, I'LL take his solos….OH, a note, if you don't know why Eli's neck is sore, there was a Five Alarm Crash 2 weeks prior, and two of our vehicles were totaled. Luckily everyone was able to walk away, but that is a tale for another time (it would also help it that particular tale was told by someone who was actually there, I was already back home). Anyhoo, the ride up the Nelson takes 10 and a half hours, and by the time we put our shit away in the hostel its time to eat. Carl has already run tot he liquor store to procure a large bottle of the Rossi shit. Spee, Mr. Nay Nay, Nimish and Max (the horn section actually) take off to spend the night at Spee's uncle's place (which I hear was wicked; beers when they got there, a bedroom each, freakin pancake breakfast). Findley's is the only place open with a kitchen, so we go there and order up some gourmet calamari sandwichs and smoked brie mango sammiches, some big buck hunter, good times. After that we went back tot the hostel, drank some vino, played a po tourny (won by yours truly), watched the house of 1000 corpses for a bit, played Dr. Mario on the cornputer and then passed the fuck out while watching "Homer goes to College" on the old portable DVD player.

Saturday December 30th, 2006
New Year's Eve's Eve. The night of nights before nights before days….big one. It's really nice to be in town without having played a show the night previous, and to have to get up to a room full of unpacked, un-reloaded gear, oh man, what I'm saying is, it was nice to sleep in. Ned and C. C. took the biggest advantage of THAT shit. So the rest of us got up, we hit up the Red Fist for some afternoon breakfast, good shit, then Spee rolled into town to drop of the gear so he and Nay Nay could go boarding for the day, hitting up black diamond and shit. Side note, the horker Gabe horked yesterday has thawed, moved down the window a bit, and now has refrozen. Unfortunately the weed store in Nelson was closed down this summer, which is a bummer cuz they had good weed there. So instead of that, the day is spent checkin out the music store, wandering around, looking cool, smokin a few bo's, I almost bought a sword, you know, for New Year's, but I didn't have enough casheesh. We've all got our booze, and me and Nimbo decide to crack it, but then it turns out its only 5 in the afternoon (mountains with they're stupid early nights), also, Nimish has used a corkscrew on our twist off bottle of wine (yes, I know what you're thinking…classy). The next few hours involve watchin a Canadian dude win on UFC, the ugliest game of pool I've ever played, and a tardy sound guy. We sound check in front of the origins of a crowd, which is never very professional, which we are, in spades, anyways, we went back to the hotel to get inspired…you know, drink wine and smoke hoolie boppers. The Show: Mock New Year's party, Nelson style (what ever the fuck THAT means). The show was a ball of heat. First set was so different. It was killer. Best Gabe's revenge Carl and I have ever done, Hot Funk in the middle of a set, the first set none-the-less, two games of big two, with C. C. being a douche in both of them (he won) and a KILLER Speeny Nay Nay trade of in March to end the first set. Me and Ned Got in on some enthusiastic merch selling at the break, the double Hercules and shit, the "vogue" CD face cover face changer, the "yeah, that's right, keep walking", it was ALL good…but not good for sales. After a wicked second set (with a fierce Senor Fiesta cap) we all regrouped at the hostel, grabbed our supplies, and then headed to a party, which happened to be on the side of a fuckin mountain. We walked up the mountain for a while, Mr. Nay Nay stumbled into a snow bank and Tayo finished the job and tackled him,  Mr. Nay Nay revenged with a big ass brick of snow. Anyway, our local tour guides, eventually we ask em where the fuck we're goin, and guess what, they have no idea. So we call, it turns out we've been walking up the mountain for no fuckin reason, head back down, slide down rather, its pretty steep and wicked, then show up at this gourmet house after party, with the nicest bafroom I've ever seen, except that the terlet is RIGHT next tot he door, so if you ferget to lock it, hoo hoo, well, I won't name names, but someone walked into and someone else was walked into on, so goes to show, get a fuckin padlock. There are Caesars being made of all guests, they have one of those cool electric ball lighting things, and there was a dude who was dressed like a pyong. HAHAHA oh yeah, Nimbo got mad sick and threw down up in the bafroom 4 times. What a guy….he didn't seem that drunk either. He got pretty fucked up after the shows this time, good for him! Good thing he didn't get a savage 10 hand atomic wedgie this time though…When we leave, we come to this big ass steep fuckin snow covered hill. Big hill. Gabe has the idea to run down it, fuck, I wish I woulda seen the logic, but surprisingly, only Ned was smart enough to join him on that shit. At the time, I really thought it was incredibly steep. In retrospect, I might have been mistaken. They BOOKED it down that shit. It was fun to watch, Gabe yelled like a loony the whole time and Ned face planted right at the end. So that cut off a little while on they're transit home, so that gave Ned time to….take off his pants? Put them in the dryer he says, I've heard it a thousand times….so Ned is pantless for the rest of the night, but let me tell you, the night didn't end there, hahahah no we smoked doobs, played some deuce, and had a Primus party with a hippie that couldn't take 11. We called it around 7 or something, Ned and C.C. were up for a little while longer. Stay tuned for part 2: Fernie for New Years!