So I have been having troubling dreams lately... About a person who I care a lot about. And if what people tell me are correct she could not have nothing but the total opposite disposition toward me. I won't name names but for the people who are close to me (and thats only a few) you will know what I am talking about. For the people who don't it doesn't matter anyways. The dreams vary. One night she is kind and forgiving and we become friends again. Then the next night she hates me again. I know that dreams have no affect on what is actually going on in your mind but I still have been pouring a lot of thought into them. I don't know what she actually thinks. She holds me now in such low admiration but I still want to believe that she does not completely mean it. Huh, I guess the time will come when everything will come to a conclusion. I just do not know what I did to receive such harsh treatment. Alright, I will admit that I made a folly or two during our friendship, but nothing so drastic to warrant this type of discontent. Eh, the time will come when I will find out. I almost guarantee it. I guess I should move on from this subject, it's making me mildly depressed. I need to get back to Julian. This "vacation" is killing me. Not a normal vacation... No, it has to be the whole "sleeping on the ground" kind. Ya, obviously running water and a bed don't make my dad's ideal vacation. At least the nightlife up here is lively. I'm talking about on the trip up. The only "nightlife" now that we have since we've started camping is the occasional raccoon wondering into camp. It is a wonder how easy you can get alcohol up here in Northern California. The fact that I'm bringing a liter or two of hard liquor home makes this trip almost worth it. Let me stress the word almost. Okay get this... I am going to become a vegetarian. Not because I want to save the animals; screw the animals; but I know that if I do that then the I can become a skinny emo kid. Plus no sugar. This is followed by jogging and anaerobic exercises daily. I like the sound of that. So I was thinking about a party... It is about time that Julian has been graced by a good party. Lets not try to get it busted though. Julian folk just can't keep their mouths shut. Lets get a few people together that are willing to supply the alcohol and I am sure there are a couple of stoners who are willing to share their wealth. Just talk to me if you are interested and we will set something up. I guess I am just trailing on here, I have gone astray from my original topic. I believe that Sophomore year had caused me to become ever more cynical. Along with resentful, untrustworthy, and I guess just acting like the all around asshole. Thats what i've been told. Maybe arrogant. No, definitely arrogant. No ones perfect. My battery is getting low so I guess I will sign off. I'll post this little blurb on Myspace when I get back to civilization. At least this pasted a few minutes. It's a little long and should you actually read it in it's entirety I commend you. Eh, not much more to say besides that I am sure I will have many more restless nights before I find the answer that I am looking for. Like I said, makes you want to laugh...