The word or phrase that best describes my personality
Scrumtralescent.

Fill in the blank: _____ is sexy; _____ is sexier.
Wearing glasses is sexy; geeky is sexier.

The last thing that made me laugh out loud
Clerks 2!! "I miss my donkey."

If I could be anywhere right now
On a cruise ship... The Love Boat! With Capt. Stubbing and the whole gang.... but no Phyllis Dillar... she creeps me the hell out.

Five items I can't live without
cell phone, autographed picture of Air Supply, a white tiger named Murray, one! million dollars, and the sweet song-stylings of Joey Lawrence.

25 years from now, I see myself
working as a Walmart Greeter or driving one of those Rascal scooters to the Grand Canyon...Not because I'll be old, but because if I wait to do that stuff till I'm old, I won't be able to enjoy it as much.

My personal motto or creed
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it in the face of the guy who gave you the lemons and take the oranges you asked for in the first place.

The celebrity I resemble the most
When I was younger, I was told Chris Farley. But if you're the funny fat guy, you look like Chris Farley. Lately, I've gotten Patton Oswald and Kevin James.

Body art
I have none, but I love it.

In my bedroom one will find...
clothes, every Harry Potter book on CD (I listen when I go to sleep..), some candles (cuz you never know...), and a spagetti server (I'm not quite sure how it arrived in the first place, but have never gotten around to taking out...)

In my refrigerator one will find...
Diet Mountain Dew. Milk. Lots of unused condiments. Grapples (that's GRAPE-les.. apples that taste like grapes... yummy!!)

The pace of my life is best described as:
Hectic for North Dakota, slow for the rest of the world.

What I like - or dislike - about what I do for a living
I dislike the hours... but I love my job.

The amount of fame and fortune I've achieved in my life is...
Sold an article to People Magazine, won karaoke competitions in several states, invented Post-its.

My most unusual or impressive skill
I can play and sing 80's Hair Metal songs on the ukulele. You've never heard "Talk Dirty To Me" till you've heard it on the ukulele.

The last great book I read
Lamb, by Christopher Moore. One of my all time favorite books.

In my stereo right now, you'll find...
Nelson's "After the Rain"... that's right.

5 albums I can't live without
Soundtrack to Hedwig and the Angry Inch
Scissor Sisters
Nelson "After the Rain"
Taxiride "Imaginate"
Mashups

The best movie I saw this year
So far, Clerks 2. Hi-larious.

Movies which spend the most time in my DVD player
Team America, Super Troopers, Love Actually, Jim Gaffigan Beyond the Pale, Wet Hot American Summer, Firefly/Serenity

Shows I Tivo (or would)?
Coupling (the british version)... It's all game shows and reality crap now so I rarely watch.

Favorite on-screen sex scene
Team America, hands down.