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Current mood:  numb
as i lie here trapped within a void, images swirl around in a whirlpool; thoughts entrapping my mind like a toxic vortex of despair, the air that once tasted sweet has turned bitter upon my tongue. a beating heart, alive and well now turned to stone. once again a prisoner of my mortality. pleading the life that ever eludes me. the hammer, the mallet, an ever present shadow cast over my existence. place my neck beneath the guillotine; the only place it feels comfortable. the executioner standing over me with his black hood hiding his face. but i think he really is faceless. he needs no face to achieve his goal. he has but to pull the rope. sometimes he walks away and i foolishly think maybe he has left. but alas, he is always back again. now the guillotine is gone and i'm walking. am i free? haha laughs the cruel god of fate as i feel something upon my throat. my feet jerk violently off the ground and i find myself walking into a noose. the faceless one has returned. and though he has no mouth i can see him smiling an evil grin. i turn to ask him what malicious deed i have committed to be bound by this endless cycle of torturous strings, but i cannot for the noose is too tight. but for some reason i continue to fight him, only to return to this place of despair. each time the fight is harder and the entrapment only worse. each time a piece of who i am is forever cast into the abyss from where it will never return. somewhere the tooth fairy has an evil twin who comes in the night to chip away bits of my heart leaving not money but cold steel in it's place. when this transformation is complete perhaps i shall transform into a man made of steel. there he is again! the faceless one looking at me, cackling at my misery. he's offering me a way out. his offer is quite tempting. offer up my life as a complete sacrifice. give up my emotions for the gift of healing others. how can one so dark seem to want me to help others at my own expense? now my life is his. i am a slave to his bondage of foreboding storm clouds over my head. i think i shall take him up on his offer if only to not feel this noose around my neck....
3:03 PM
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