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Current mood:  confused Category: Blogging
so my life is at a stand still atm... just as everything got better it took a turn for the worst...I currently have the hearts of three guys and i have strong feelings for them all i dont know who to choose =[... i love all of them for different reasons..im so use to being told what to do and who to love and i just dont know what to do...someone help me. on the upside all this stress has caused a lift in my creativity ive done 5 sketches that i couldnt ever do before and i wrote a song and two poems i might post afterwards...i can not wait to leave the country in 44 days. im not going to want to come home. If i should even call this a home. i believe home should be where you are most comfortable at and where you feel safest and loved by the people around you and that certainly isnt here. i want to leave this place for good and never look back. at all the misery and lies and useless family members that hate me. =/ is there even a point to my exsistance i dont know who i am anymore. all of my memories in this place seem to be dissappearing as everyone i care about drifts away. Old hangouts continue to be destroyed along with the memories that are with them. im starting to think that soon they will barely exsist in my memory. i feel cold and dead like a walking porcelain doll. if anyone reads this it may very well be my last blog entry. i just dont know what im going to do anymore =[. Someone help me..i need real adivise from someone.. not "its okay." or "i love you please be happy." o and the ever popular "im sorry" real advise please =[. And another thing im going to be looking for a new place to live. If you want a room mate let me know and ill be glad to help out with rent and bills =} XoXoxO, your bloody valentine ..
8:03 PM
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