So here I sit a couple hours before the 21st and my 30th birthday. I'm normally not a fan of birthdays but this year is *really* a tough one.

As I think I've posted my dad has been battling Cancer and we are now at the end of that (it's been six months since treatment went from "trying to cure" to "making him comfortable"). 3 weeks ago my Dad went into the hospital and while last week he was still having day passes to go home but  Friday afternoon he made the call to my sister in Vancouver telling her that she needed to call me and tell me that I need to come home pretty quickly.

I was still in Cranbrook because Aaron and I are in the middle of moving. The move date is December 1st (low income housing is one of those things that once you get in, you make immediate plans to move in) but I was hoping his health would hold out till after we got everything moved. Didn't happen.

So I did a whirlwind of things on Friday night to help Aaron out (because he would have to finish the rest of the move) and I took the flight out Saturday. Dad was having a pretty good day but he is on oxygen and even the small visits tucker him out pretty bad. Most people are good and only stay for 20 minutes or so but there are a few who even though Dad hasn't spoken to them in years decide to spend 3-4hrs!!!!

Had one night this week where in his mind he was out working in the bush (he was a logger for 20 odd years) and then he thought he was fishing (heartbreaking watching him cast his line) and then he started calling me by my mothers name (she passed away December '98 and I look like her twin). If it wasn't for my uncle Karl I think I would have went mad (he was there when my grandfather went through the same thing with cancer that had spread to his brain).

So the 21st is my 30th birthday and not only was I just hoping to forget about it (turning 30 and I am not even close to where I had pictured I would be) but now I feel bad because my family is truly trying to make it special. Frankly I would prefer to just spend the day with my Dad but when I first mentioned that I was informed that my Dad wants me to enjoy my birthday. I do hope that I can time everything to make at least a small visit in the afternoon & evening with him.

Well at least our family got some good news this week. My sister is expecting her second child in June.