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Dave Hearn


Last Updated: 3/31/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 38
Sign: Cancer

City: Hearn's Half-Acre
State: OHIO
Country: US
Signup Date: 2/4/2006

Who Gives Kudos:

Bill (2)
Rebecca8UrP.. (1)
SKA-T (2)
(2)
Pig. (2)
Tuesday, April 29, 2008 

Current mood:  angsty

I'm writing this at work (big surprise!) so pardon me if I'm brief.

I've been a bit reluctant to interact with people lately.  Not sure why.  When I get online to check news or, at least, news that's important to me, I'm just hesitant to click on MySpace or Facebook and see what everyone's up to.  It's not that I'm not interested in y'all, I am, but getting on these sites lets you know what I'M up to and, for some reason, that gives me the heebie-jeebies.

This isn't a sob story or a cry for attention (although I am posting this on a public space, so maybe it is) but I just don't feel very accomplished.  It's not a money thing.  Anyone who knows me is aware that money and I just don't get along.  In my mind, money doesn't equal accomplishment.  The thing is I'm 36 years old and I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  It's frustrating.

I read intervies with people I admire all the time and this phrase (or something close to it) is ubiquitous, "I've known since I was a kid that I wanted to be (fill in the blank)."  Who are these people?  Is it you?  I wanted to be Green Lantern when I was a kid.  I also wanted a robot that looked like E.T.  But I'll be damned if I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.

See, I have a need to create stuff but I don't take much pleasure in it.  I have no idea why.  Anyone who tells you that painting or drawing is "relaxing" is 1: full of shit or 2: doesn't really paint or draw.  It's grueling.  When you create something, what you see on the page (or canvas, or whatever) is a series of failures and misguided attempts that come together to create "the thing" and "the thing" was never what you had in mind.

I find myself avoiding creation altogether.

Been writing alot lately.  Mostly scripts (comic stuff).  Not alot of solace to be found there either.  Here's an excercise; sit down and try to come up with an idea that hasn't been done before...

...ready?

Go!

...

How did you do?

Personally, I didn't do very well.  Originality is tough stuff. (yes, I've read the books that tell you that nothing is new and there are only 7 or 8 different kinds of stories but, whatever)

Anyway, it's frustrating, so I'm avoiding it.

I suppose I've answered my own question.  I'm avoiding this place because it reminds me of the other stuff I'm avoiding.

Crap. 

Someday I'll figure it out.

-Dave

 

 

 

9:21 PM
 
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T!X EON

 
Let it go man, let it go... you are doing something with your life... YOU ARE LIVING IT!!! Dude, you own a house.... A FUCKING HOUSE!!! You have great friends..LOOK AT ME!!! >:) You have an awesome wife, a job...maybe not your ideal job, but a job that brings home money...even if it's not a lot. Not saying that things couldn't be better, but at least you know that you have the ability to make yourself better. Many people never even TRY! So what if you are 36...BIG WHOOP. I think Reb's mom didn't start school for architecture till she was in her 40's, and she was divorced with three kids! but I digress, You shouldn't be so hard on yourself...hard on......huh huh huh... Enjoy your life, make it YOURS, that's all that counts...PWN YOUR LIFE! .....and listen to vinyl!
 
Posted by T!X EON on Tuesday, April 29, 2008 - 10:13 PM
[Reply to this] 
Bill

 
You used the word "ubiquitous", so I felt the need to add 2 kudos to this blog. I have to say that you are your own worst critic, in both creation and in "what we've accomplished in life". Being your brother, and of a like mind, I understand perfectly your above blog. Creation in and of itself is exhausting at best, and the final product never seems to be what it started out as. What I find most comforting, when I share, is the opinion of others. Those opinions need not be praise, as a matter of fact, I prefer critisism, the harsher the better. Others always see things differently than I do, they see it in an altogether different way than I usually intended. What matters to me the most, is that the attempt was made. That I tried to make a difference and either fell on my ass, or rose to glory. Most often, I find myself to be mediocre, I hide in my bubble, surrounded by walls. I understand bro'. I don't agree with you, but I understand, you have to let it go, and just be. Both in creation and life...just be. Take the gifts you were given, the gifts that you've honed, and the people surrounding you, and just live, each moment to it's fullest.
Now if I could just come up with a decent dick joke to end this, it would be perfect!
Love you bro'!
 
Posted by Bill on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 - 12:51 AM
[Reply to this] 
Rebecca8UrPride

 
Damn, I have so been there .... am so there right now. I know, the creation thing has been a long pain for me, for about 10 years now. It's still hurts like a bad break up. I know "art" will come back but thinking about it makes me feel like an unaccomplished douche. Wasn't I supposed to be the next BIG thing? I wish I had some sweet bit of advice for you but I don't. It all sounds much easier than it is. The only thing that makes me feel better (outside of love and home) is change. When I feel like this, I make a big change. I guess it gives me the sense of foreward motion.

Anyway ... I love you like the rest of your myspace family and I speak for everyone when I say we think you are great, for the life you are living right now.

R
 
Posted by Rebecca8UrPride on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 - 2:54 AM
[Reply to this] 
SKA-T
Scott Cannon

 
Holy shit... get outta my brain!!!!!!! I'm going through the same thing... the most annoying thing that I run into is when my damn doodles that take me like 2 seconds while I'm on the phone at work look a ton better then crap I sit down and work hours on...

I really don't "create" much anymore. I got so frustrated with not being able to get that image that was in my mind out onto paper or screen. I'm also right there with the not knowing what I want to be when I grow up, I thought I knew but I didn't (oh and for the record I wanted to be Batman when I was growing up Green Lantern is a scrub)...

Dude hang in there it will pass... oh and if it means anything you have like 10 times the artistic talent in your thumb then I have in my whole body...
 
Posted by SKA-T on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 - 6:15 AM
[Reply to this] 
Alycia

 
I can relate. I was sitting in class yesterday and all my fellow teaching candidates seem so passionate about becoming art teachers. They have this drive that I don't seem to have. Then I thought, "Do I REALLY want to do this for a living? Do I REALLY want to be an art teacher, or am I just wasting my time?" Then I answered myself with, "What the hell else am I going to do with my life?" I told Tony about what happened, and he said it's so much easier to be idealistic when you're 22, which is the age of my classmates. I just want to get my license, have a good job that pays decently, and be home to take care of my kid at night and during the summer. It's not too much to ask, right? But I feel like my intentions would be perceived as the "wrong" reasons to get into teaching, though I don't see why it should be any different than any other job prospect. I'm not out to change the world, I just want to be able to take care of my family and do something that I enjoy in the process.

And I never get to make artwork anymore, so I actually would find it relaxing. I'm not determined to make something unique and mega-ultra-creative, though.
 
Posted by Alycia on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 - 12:38 PM
[Reply to this] 
♥JOSIE ♥

 
I've been setting here for a long time trying to come up with something encouraging, witty or compassionate. I feel it but I'm not able to write it down. But ya know what? Once I post this, I will no doubt think of several worthwhile things I might have said. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe when you stop trying to figure it out, it will all fall into place. You're beiing too hard on yourself. So what if "the thing" was never what you had in mind. Do you have any idea how many great ideas or "things" were the result of something that was never intended? I've not seen you in a long time but I'll always remember the joy I felt being around you. I wish you knew the Dave I know. I love him.
 
Posted by ♥JOSIE ♥ on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 - 1:36 PM
[Reply to this] 
DaveSpace
Dave Hearn

 
Thanks, everybody! I'll write to each of you in turn but I wanted to let you know that after I got home last night I realized that this ennui I've been feeling was just gas.

Well, it wasn't a dick joke but it'll serve.

Thanks for letting me unload and thanks for being there. I feel a bit guilty for being so blessed with family and friends and still being in a funk.
 
Posted by DaveSpace on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 - 2:27 PM
[Reply to this] 
SKA-T
Scott Cannon

 
No prob my man... you can always vent anytime...

Oh and just for the record, I still tell the "It all comes down to Whoville man..." story.
 
Posted by SKA-T on Thursday, May 01, 2008 - 3:23 AM
[Reply to this] 
Pig.
Cory Myers

 
i have been having the EXACT same problem.

i can write, but it doesnt turn out the way i want to.

i draw, but not the way i intended.

i know what i want to do, but it doesnt make me happy.

this shit is hard!

art is hard.


art is just an asshole
 
Posted by Pig. on Sunday, November 16, 2008 - 8:10 PM
[Reply to this] 
DaveSpace
Dave Hearn

 
I and a friend of mine who is a painter have come up with a saying, "Fuck Art.
"

You know, Cory, just push through it. Often the things we see as mistakes are the very things that give our creations life. A comic book artist and graphic designer, Neal Adams (one of my heroes) said, "an artist's style is everything that they do wrong.
"
 
Posted by DaveSpace on Thursday, January 22, 2009 - 7:25 PM
[Reply to this]