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Cheryl



Last Updated: 11/19/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Married
Age: 55
Sign: Pisces

City: NeverLand
State: Massachusetts
Country: US
Signup Date: 2/5/2006
Monday, July 10, 2006 

I got an email from a friend a while ago with a good message that I thought I'd share with you all. Take what you want from it. Enjoy. Author is unknown.

  The following is an opinion.  It was written with the somewhat naive and hopeful intent to help unify the bickering factions of the Pagan community.  Failing that, it at least gives me a chance to vent.  I admit that I'm far from spiritual perfection and hardly above reproach.  I still have many lifetimes to go and more than a few lessons to learn.  I'm also guilty of using my values to judge the actions of others.  Just the same, many of the actions I've witnessed are inexcusable.

Having been a solitary and prior to exposure to other Pagans, I'd thought people in the community would be as enlightened as those in the books I'd been reading had led me to believe.  Yes, there are good groups and good people in the community.  I've even met a few of them.  However, my first thoughts after meeting people was, "Haven't they learned anything?" and "Is all this bickering really necessary?" 

OK, how many times have you seen or heard any of these?
"Solitaries aren't real Wiccans.  You have to belong to a coven/group."
"Sue" is giving information regarding her religion/spirituality to someone as others are listening.  Sue gives slightly inaccurate information.  Rather than gently correcting her or giving a different view on the topic, the others spread the word afterwards saying she doesn't know what she's talking about.
A Pagan flipping out on someone who called them a Satanist, rather than taking the time out to talk with that person.
(Insert any patriarchal-monotheistic-religion) bashing.
(Insert any spiritual-group-other-than-your-own) bashing.
"He/She/It's psychically attacking me!" (heard from the same person on a weekly/biweekly basis)
People who use magick to harm others.
People who use magick to control others (similar but different than the above).
People who, with a minimum of training and practice, think they're all-powerful mages
(Spiritual/emotional, not physical) "Children" that play "games" with things they don't understand.

Is anyone else having a hard time with this?

So, you're asking yourself "What can I do to help?" (If you're not asking yourself that, maybe you're part of the problem.)  Here are a few things:

1.  Stop bickering!
Bickering is as constructive as trying to chop down a tree with a herring.  By continuing these feuds, we:
A.  Fracture our community
B.  Leave ourselves open to attack by outside groups
C.  Create a great deal of negative energy
D.  Scare away those who may want to join or find out more about us
E.  Create more aggravation than any of us need.

Everyone's spiritual path is different and each one is valid in it's own way. Since no two people have the same mental/emotional makeup or background, there can't be any ONE way of looking at "All That Is".  There are similarities in belief systems, however these are interpreted differently through the lens of one's own experience, mindset and/or personality. There's also a difference between an exchange of ideas and the non-stop, back-and-forth in fighting that's been flying around.  There is no excuse for "Witch Wars"we're supposed to be enlightened here, folks.  If we choose to accept differences in belief systems and practices, there may be hope for us yet.

We're all humans and prone to making mistakes and misjudgments.  A gentle word of constructive criticism does much more good than jumping all over someone with both feet.  Everyone has the right to his/her own opinion; no matter how screwed up or biased it may seem to you.  Remember, it's only an opinion and doesn't affect you personally in any way.  There's no need to respond with venom, anger or in a negative manner.

Just a note to those who feel they are "witchier than thou".  Perhaps if you used your wealth of knowledge and experience to help others rather than to mock or deride them, you can help to bring the level of professionalism in our community to a higher standard.

Here's an added incentive to keep the bickering down to a minimum: When someone from outside the community sees all the infighting and negativity of only a few, it has a tendency to reflect on the entire community.  We have enough negative stereotypes to deal with as it is, without adding fuel to the fire.

2.  Practice acceptance.
Only by being accepting of and patient with others can we earn that for ourselves.  If we show ourselves to be open to new ideas as well as the ideals of others, perhaps some of those persecuting and/or deriding us will get the point.

3. Don't be a hypocrite.
Practice what you preach!  If the religion/spirituality you practice is based on peace, love, kindness, we-are-all-part-of-the-one, and all that stuff, then how about spreading that view in your interaction with others, including strangers.  A little courtesy and respect goes a long way.

4.  Educate the general public.
The best way to keep the Burning Times from coming back (and this is a possibility, remote but still a possibility, with the so-called "Religious Right" gaining strength) is to educate the general non-Pagan population about your particular brand of religion/spirituality.  Education is our best defense.  Don't be afraid to gently correct someone when you hear a negative stereotype or phrase.  Only by ridding common society of these stereotypes will we dispel the fear that goes along with them.  

5.  Educate each other.
If you hear someone giving inaccurate information, help him or her out.  He/she may not want to be corrected, but if you offer this help in a constructive manner, your efforts won't be wasted.  It also helps to know a few sources where to find the correct information.  This is a lot easier than spending all that effort going around town telling everyone this person doesn't know squat.

6.  Educate yourself.
Many people who first enter this path look for a teacher, either for spiritual guidance or to teach energy work.  Other people with experience and knowledge are great for advice and guidance, but this is what worked for them and you will have to do more exploring within yourself in order to find what works for you. You are your own best teacher.  One of the first lessons to learn is that the more you know, the more you realize what you don't know.

If a teacher you approach says any of the following
I can teach you everything, or
You must do it this way.

. Run like hell.  Ask to watch, but not participate in, some of the lessons or rituals.  Most groups with nothing to fear and/or not into control games will allow this.  It gives you a chance to check them out and see if you like the way they practice.

The same goes for the books out there.  They give good basic advice and are nice for reference, but the opinions and practices expressed in them are what worked for the author and may not necessarily be right for you.   Learn to be discerning.

And on the other sideNo teacher worth his or her salt will take on a student without first fully evaluating him/her.  Only after studying the student's emotional/mental makeup and dedication should they make the offer.  Doing otherwise could be like handing a loaded gun to a baby.  A certain amount of emotional maturity, mental stability and a sense of responsibility are necessary in the undertaking any kind of work or study. 

7.  If you're hearing hoof beats look for horses, not zebras
Yes, psychic attacks do sometimes occur.  Unfortunately, there are people in the community who think that throwing fireballs (whether the fireballs be verbal or otherwise) is the best way of dealing with conflict.  But, first look at all the possible mundane causes for what you're experiencing.  More often than not you're the cause, whether it be anxiety, paranoia or your own negative energy reflected back upon yourself. 

If you harm people by psychic attack, please bear in mind that Karma is a great equalizer.  Anything you send out comes back.  Magick is a tool to be used to help you and others, not a weapon to be used vindictively over petty matters or disagreements.  Defense is acceptable -- retribution is not.Once again, I remind you that this has only been an opinion.