I collected these years ago, and figured I'd share them with everyone.  There's some repetition, but I just consider them discursive motivic embellishments.

Q: What's the difference between a trombonist and a dead skunk in the road?
A: The skunk was on his way to a gig.

Q: What do you do when the viola player dies?
A: move him back a chair

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a viola?
A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.

Q.  How many second violinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A.  Don't be silly, they can't go that high.

Q.  How can you tell if a band is playing on a level stage?
A.  The drummer is drooling from BOTH sides of his mouth.

Q.  What is the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?
A.  Jewelry. 

Q.  Why is a viola better than a violin?
A.  It BURNS LONGER. 

Q-How do you know when a drummer is knocking on your door?
A-The knocking speeds up.

Q- What did the guitarist get on his chemistry exam?
A- Drool

Q-How do you know when a singer is at your door?
A- He doesn't know when to come in and he can't find the right key?

Q: What's the difference between a guitar player and a savings bond?
A: The savings bond eventually matures and makes money.

Q: How many singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. She holds the light bulb in the socket, and the rest of the
    universe revolves around her.

Q: What is the difference between a lead singer and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: What is the first thing a female singer likes to do when she gets up in
    the morning?
A. Go home!

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. The keyboardist can do it with his left hand.

Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb? (v.2)
A. One; but the guitar player has to show him how first.

Q: How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five, one to put it in and four to stand around and say "I could do that better"

Q: What's the difference between a coffin and a cello?
A: The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

Q: Why are violinist's fingers like lightning?
A: They rarely strike the same place twice.

Q: How do you get a guitarist to turn down his amp?
A: Give him sheet music.

Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
A: A drummer.

Q: Why do bagpipers walk around when they play?
A: To get away from the noise.

Q:What's the definition of a semi-tone?
A:Two violinists playing the same note.

Q:How do you know when a bagpipe is out of tune?
A:Someone is playing it.

Q:How many blues guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A:One to change it and 19 to stand around and say how good the old bulb
    was.

Q: What do you call a person who hangs out with musicians ?
A: A banjo player.

Q. How do you know a drummer is at your door?
A. The knocking speeds up and he's not sure quite when to come in.

Q. How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None, the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.

Q. What's the difference between a turtle that gets squished
    crossing the road and a trombone player that gets squished
    crossing the road?
A: The turtle was on his way to a gig.


Q. How can you tell a trombone player's kid on the playground?
A. He can slide OK but he can't swing.

Q: How many A&R men does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Sorry we're not changing light bulbs at the moment !

Q: What's the least commonly used phrase in the english language?
A: Hey, is that the banjo player's Porsche?

Ok here goes....A snake and a rabbit meet in the woods, at night, after
conversing for a while, they decide to guess what animal the other is. 
The Snake touches the rabbit, aand says, "Hmm, well, you're warm, you're
fuzzy, and you have huge ears, you must be a rabbit!"
"Right!" says the rabbit, touches the snake and says, "EUW! You're cold, and
slimy, and you've got no ears at all! You must be a Producer!"

The definition of a gentleman is someone who knows how to play the bagpipe,
but doesn't.