As I drove into work this morning I looked up in the sky and saw the most glorious thing! The torso of Jesus Christ emerging from the clouds, his outstretched hands proudly showing off his stigmata, and wee little dead children standing in the clouds raising their arms in excessive flattery! As soon as I could find a safe place to pull my car over, I did so, and immediately exited my car and fell upon my knees and worshipped the Lord. When suddenly, I noticed a little basket dangling beneath the clouds. A flame was shooting from the basket and illuminating the clouds where Jesus' lower half should be. Inside the basket were little people, waving at me, holding signs that said "Repent!" and "Jesus is Lord!" Imagine my shock when I realized that this wasn't a vision of Jesus, but rather a giant Jesus shaped hot air balloon! I was pissed, but since I was already on my knees, I decided I'd dedicate my life and soul to the praise and worship of JESUS BALLOON! Born again in the lighter-than-air blood of Jesus.