I am pretty sure I have blogged on this subject before - wouldn't be surprising considering that since moving to London 12 years ago I have lived in a grand total of 19 different places (- 20 if you count the house I moved into and out of in the space of a weekend; everyone makes mistakes.) So I am familiar with all the jargon that gets used on these flat-pimping websites and have seen enough places to know that if it doesn't say "this place is MASSIVE!!!" it is undoubtedly a shoebox.

Absolutely stunning double room = small
Beautiful double room = small
Cosy/Cute = absolutely tiny
Double = two people can fit inside
Excellent double room = overpriced but near the tube
Fantastic = we cleaned it for the photo
Great double room = small
Houseshare = play by our rules and you'll be fine
Including bills = we have a whole bunch of extravagant monthly subscriptions
Just been refurbished = 2 weeks ago there were no walls
Lovely double room = the last tenant left some posters
Must be seen = looks worse than it is
Nice room = smallest you have ever seen
Old house = no central heating
Professional houseshare = musicians fuck off
Quiet street = miles from the tube
References required = last tenant was an axe murderer
Sunny double room = it's a dump, but there's a window
Studio flat = smallest room you have ever seen + a hob
Spacious = no furniture
Tidy double room = you'll need to keep it tidy if you want to see the floor
Unbelievably good value = dodgy area
Very large double room = you can get through the door without falling on the bed
We are professional = artists fuck off