I use twitter loads more these days, right now i'm @lineinyourbook but about 10 minutes ago i was @no1joel . I'm sick of no1joel though so i'll probably be something else by the time you read this.
I've decided to start blogging again, because I enjoy writing stuff down and having something to look back on - even if it's a bit painful to read sometimes.
I think my blogs should have a subject, a general point, because I do tend to meander. Shall I do a quick life-update first? Fine.
I'm sorta-kinda seeing someone. I was going to put her name here but she's such a commitment-phobe that I think that'd scare her off. To be honest I feel a bit afraid of commitment. Maybe that can be what I talk about for this blog. In a bit.
I'm taking photos again. Yay! I have a funky Lomo Fisheye 2 camera. It's film. This amazes people. I suggest and request that you go look at
some of my photos, please!
I had a bar job. I don't know if I mentioned this? But anyway, I quit now. This weekend in fact! I'll miss a lot of people from there and I hope we don't just fade out of each other's lives but I suspect we will. But I'm definitely not sad to be walking away from that place. Note to self: Never get into a bar job again.
Ummm what else... got a first for my first year at uni, yay... had a week living with the awesome Mark Ludditt and Joe Rowland (@ludditking and @joerowland , for you twitter types)... have had some wavy relationship - 99% not romantic - intensities with people. That is, I've been superbestomgnevergoaway friends with someone one minute and just sorta chums the next. C'est la vie. Oh, and I went to see antichrist and it was godawful but refuses to leave my mind.
So... commitment. I'm a bit scared of it. I'm thinking this could be because of what happened with Lauren... a younger, more naive me - get ready to be violently and projectively sick - thought me and her were made for each other and were going to be together forever and ever. Which sounds totally retarded now, but then love makes people retarded.
Feel free to vomit at that last sentence too.
A relationship has seemed so pointless to me for so long. It'll end eventually, so why bother. What's so good about being with someone? Surely it's just waiting around to get cheated on, make a mistake with someone else and really hurt someone, or just get bored and break up. Who wants that claustrophobia where you end up absolutely hating the person you're with, simply because you're with them and you hate the way they breathe it's seriously so annoying when you do it like that i'm sure your parents hate you all my friends hate you we all hate you why won't you diiiiiieeee. Oh and then you break up and they're perfect again.
But events of late have made me think differently. I blame a softer world and joey comeau's book, overqualified. And Mitch Hedburg for his lines on red wine. Allow me to be a pretentious prick and insert a quote into your eye holes:
"I like to drink red wine. This girl asked me once if red wine gave me a headache. I said, 'Sure, eventually, but the first and middle parts are amazing!' I'm not going to give up on something because of what it does eventually. It's like getting an apple and going 'Whoa, stop! That's going to be a core eventually!'" - Mitch Hedburg
Did that help? How about this... I have a print of it on my wall..
- "mistakes aren't always regrets"
I'm not looking for someone to be in a relationship with. I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm not even looking for "that someone".
I just think if you found something or someone that makes you happy, go for it, and if you go down, go down swinging.
Fuck it, you're going to die anyway... Eventually....
Make the first and middle bits amazing.
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