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I've been asked this question several times in the past few weeks (since school started). The best I've been able to come up with is "It's just right for our family at this time." I don't want to say what I really think ('cause it'd be downright rude), which is "Really, why is this any of your business?" or even "Kate is far too smart to send to public schools in this county." (Which isn't even true; of course I think she's smart, but certainly not freakishly so, and there are plenty of VERY smart kids in our local schools, and plenty of great teachers. But I digress...)
Anyway, I came across this posting in a homeschool newletter that I receive. And other than the identifying characteristics (names having been changed to protect the innocent and all, haha), I could have written this blog. I wish I had. So I'm posting it here now. In case you care (which you shouldn't) why I homeschool, here it is: (the bolding is my doing)
Home Schooling
Why we homeschool, and
a little bit of de-schooling...
The question that is fast becoming my favorite is "Why do you Homeschool?" The people I really like to share our reasoning with are the ones that truly want to understand why someone would make this decision. But others will look at us like we have grown a third head and have gone completely crazy. And still others do not realize that home schooling has been around lot longer than the public school system.
We are a military family, and the fact of our life is we transfer duty stations every three years. To date we have lived in San Diego Ca, Charleston Sc and on the island of Oahu in Hawaii. Our son, Kristopher, who is now nine years old, has been home schooled since the second grade and he is now in fourth grade. Kristopher has ADHD and mild hearing loss, a combination that can cause a very stubborn, reluctant learner and for some, a very frustrating person to be around. It took us two years of the public school system to discover Kristopher simply didn't fit into the mold they made for children. He is a kinetic learner, and they just didn't have time for someone who learned differently from the majority. When simple amendments were asked for so that Kristopher could succeed in school, we were rebuffed and told he would have to learn to adapt. Adapt to something he cannot control? To learn in a manner that is not befitting to him? To repeat the first grade, where he will learn what he has already learned, so that he can receive a nicer looking letter grade? Isn't it more important that he learned something, rather than having an A on his report card? We thought so, and though it was scary, we took him out of school and started on the path of schooling at home.
As scared as we were, we realized something very important. When Kristopher was a baby, we were responsible for teaching him to eat, drink, walk, talk, potty train, we were to teach him to grow up. No one told us to send him to school to learn these. We were responsible. But at the age of five we were told he had to go to school to learn. Why? The only thing that changed is what he was learning.
Someone once asked me how I could think I can teach my son better than a person who has gone to college and holds a degree in education. Well, I guess I feel I can't do any worse than that person. I can read books on the latest teaching methods, research for age appropriate reading material; I can even download a Scope and Sequence from the smartest state in the country. I can read about the latest and best books available on a subject or read reviews on different curriculum and decide which will work best for Kristopher. But more importantly, I also went to school and learned reading, writing, math, science and history too. But the one thing most teachers will tell you they want, is a smaller class so that they can have more time for the kids. I am one teacher with one student and my singular goal for Kristopher isn't just to teach him, but to help him learn and understand what he is studying. My husband, Greg and I, talk to Kristopher, asking him what he would like to learn about, how he would best learn it, and other things as they apply to him. For Kristopher, lots of hands on learning is best and currently he loves completing thematic units and literature based across the curriculum units. When something doesn't work for him, we change it. When he doesn't understand it, we keep working on it, rather than moving on and leaving him confused. When he enjoys a topic, such as the Titanic, we study it until I cannot stand it, but we preserve on until he is ready to move forward. When he causes trouble, I can discipline him so that he learns not to do it again. At times his ADHD can be a curse, but most of the time his mind will go in directions I am jealous of. Rather than wasting that, we use that to our benefit and what a gift that can be. That is what we can do better than the educated teachers and public schools. They have a set timeline and curriculum that they must follow. There is no time to stop the class for one person who is still at a loss, they have to move on and hope the child gets it sooner or later.
Some days I question my sanity of keeping Kristopher home all day. Some days sending him to school seems like a small blessing. I can get very frustrated with him, and he with me. But then I see that smart boy sitting in front of me waiting to learn and I know what will happen to him at school. He started kindergarten in California and loved it, would cry if he was too sick to go to school. By the end of first grade in South Carolina, he hated school and started faking illnesses to stay home. As we began home schooling, we realized the damage that had been done to our wonderful boy. He was no longer sure of himself, thought of himself as stupid and incapable of doing anything right. He was different from the rest of the kids and that made him a target for teasing and bullies. He didn't even know it was okay to make mistakes, for that is how you learn. We had to de-schooling him to combat these problems and at times, we still are de-schooling. If you were to ask Kristopher now if he is stupid, he will say, "No, I am so smart" and he is right. Under our constant influence and supervision, Kristopher has developed his own thoughts and ideas, rather than following the crowd. He is learning to stand up for his beliefs and gaining confidence in himself. Just the other day, one of his friends told him his shoes were ugly. Though I would agree, I don't have to wear them. He told that friend, "Its okay if you don't like them, you don't have to wear them. I wear them and I like them, that is what matters." To say the least, that girl wasn't sure what to say, but she sure didn't say anything about his shoes again! One of his other friends actually congratulated him for standing up for himself. Kristopher doesn't judge kids the way other kids sometimes do. A person is his friend because he likes them; it doesn't matter if they are a boy or girl, younger or older than him. He freely will strike up a conversation with an adult and has manners that he uses. Kristopher is not perfect and he does get a little big for his britches every now and again, but for the most part, he is respectful of others and kind and friendly to everyone. I see other kids his age swearing, calling names, hitting others and being down right rude to everyone. I think to myself where are the parents and why are they not teaching their kids not to do these things? These are the kids that would be in Kristopher's school if he were to attend. These children are our future, the ones that will be taking care of us in the nursing homes and that scares me.
Another factor in our decision is we like knowing our child will be safe from school violence. Kristopher would not be a better person for being bullied and teased all day through out the school year. No child would be. Kristopher was exposed to more than his share in first grade and even for a child that young, the damage was apparent. The school couldn't protect him and neither could we. What he became is a very hurt child. Some of those angry and hurt children have become shooters in the school shootings. We do realize that school shootings are rare, but there is all kinds of violence in schools, fighting and drugs just to name a few. If my husband and I did drugs and beat Kristopher, someone would call Child Protective Services and he would be removed from our home. Why in the world would we send him to school to be subjected to these very same things? We are confident in the knowledge that Kristopher wouldn't do drugs, but we sure don't want him walking into the restroom and witnessing a drug deal or seeing someone getting beat up.
Everyone always wants to know whether Kristopher is socialized. By definition, the term socialized means to take part in social activities or behave in a friendly way to others. Well, of course he is socialized. What they mean is he around people other than us. He would have to be locked in a basement to not be. He participates in Cub Scouts, soccer, our Homeschool group and other activities on base. He talks to everyone and is always bringing another new friend home. He is outside all the time with the neighborhood kids.
So the answer to the question "Why do you Homeschool?" can easily be answered. Since we move so much, Kristopher has a constant standard of learning. He is not behind or ahead when we move, nor does he miss any school days since we take his school books with us to continue studying. Since he is not tied to a strict public school schedule, we have the time to take lots of fieldtrips and learn about the area we are living in at the time. We can effectively discipline him so that he learns right from wrong rather than where the fuzzy gray area is in the middle. He has learned our values, thoughts and ideas, from which he has his own values, thoughts and ideas. We have taught him to always be kind, considerate, thoughtful, friendly and respectful of others. We teach him to think for himself. He learns more than the basic subjects such as housekeeping, gardening, yard care, cooking, pet care and the benefits of volunteer work. He knows the importance of learning. He has rediscovered the enjoyment learning. We can give him the one-on-one time that most teachers wish they could do. We are sure that he will become a productive member of society instead of a menace to it. We do realize that for the rest of Kristopher's life, he will have to learn to adapt, things cannot always be the way that is best for him. But in time, and with practice, he will learn how to manage his time, prioritize and to control his attention span. He will learn that sometimes, even when you do not want to, you just have to do it and get it done with. These are things that take a long time to learn and he was asked at the age of seven to do them when many adults cannot do them.
In every way that matters, Kristopher is like all the other children of the world, he just receives his education at home, where his teachers love him and have the time to care if he fails or succeeds. Every child learns at home, Kristopher is just learning a little more than the rest of them. We are not anti-public school, nor do we think all teachers are bad. There are good teachers and schools where a child succeeding is their priority. Sadly, there are too many kids and not enough funding to make these schools as good as they should be. But for now, this is the best school for Kristopher. He has been offered the option to return to school and refuses to go. When asked what he misses from school, he says recess and PE. Guess that is a hint to us to get more physical education into his curriculum.
3:03 AM
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