As much as we hate to admit this, the only way to get ahead in this internet wasteland will be to pander to those who spend the most time populating it: the BLOGGERS!
Who are these bloggers, you may ask?
Well, Blogger, you see, was originally short for Bloody Jogger. Nobody knows how they got that way (knife, fight, knife fight, vampire, etc.) but darnit if they weren't going to go online and tell everybody in their LiveJournal or Xanga or whatever. Eventually the word Blogger went on to describe anyone who kept one of these online journals (now called Blogs for short). In fact, you're reading one of them right now (affectionately referred to as Count Roblogula)!
At some point, people decided to only Blog about certain things. Thats why today you'll find blogs about cellular phones, pornography, and even other blogs! Some people even make money as professional bloggers (*cough*losers*cough*). But the blogs that are the most interesting to us as musicians are called MP3 blogs, where people post MP3s of songs they like, especially by small bands (like us) that are just starting out. Blogs have sure come along way from their sordid and violent past.
So, if it pleases the board, I present to you Count Robocula Marketing Strategy #A-03x, entitled Operation BlogStorm of the BroadSword from Thunderopolis. We will simply try to get into contact with as many MP3 bloggers as possible to expose them to our music and hopefully they will post our MP3s or links to our MP3 from their blogs. This also may involve some lazers and old episodes of Seinfeld (especially that one where they have the contest to see who can go the longest without masturbating, that ones killer. I can't believe Elaine didn't win. I still believe in you, Elaine. You go girl.). Eventually we will get on Pitchfork and they will give us a great review, y'know, cause we're just that good and not wimps like Sufjan Stevens and not totally crazy like those Animal Collective guys, we just know how to bring the rock, y'know, like KISS and shit, wooh. Speaking of KISS and the Animal Collective, Peter Criss could totally join the Animal Collective cause he wears cat makeup. What a dork! Speaking of cats, how bout Cat Power? Her new albums called The Greatest, which I think is pretty boastful, but shes no Destroyer. And Destroyer's no Pig Destroyer, y'know, if you like that sort of thing. Grindcore or whatever. I hear KISS is going to put out a grindcore album. And Jefferson Starship's gonna put out a brutal noise album, called Jefferson BRSSSSHWAOWHORSIJJJJGHHHFship.
Anyway, now that we have all those band names up there that might get us some google hits lets talk about shows and farts and crafts.
JANUARY 20th or 21st we will be playing at SJU Til 2 at St. Joseph's University in Hawk Rock.
FEBRUARY 7th (I believe) we will be playing at 6300 Overbrook Avenue, Cara's Basement. Not sure of the time yet, but we'll be playing with the Silent Years, who are great.