Redefining Elizabeth
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I found my “I am woman! Hear me roar” façade, well maybe not façade … demeanor,
that’s a better word, taking a header this week. The mother’s guilt started to rear its ugly head as I looked
around the house and saw the clutter piling up. It seems that the people I love haven’t quite realized how
serious I am and I have let them get away with it.
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“Oh, Mom will get that. I have a movie to go to and if I slip out while she’s
“writing”, she’ll never notice.”
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“Gee, that Playstation game is calling my name, so what if I
grab a separate glass every time I grab a new beer and they pile up. Sweetie can get it once she’s done with
her little hobby. I’ve worked all
day and want to relax.”
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I find it really hard to work around mess. I have always thought that the way your
house looks reflects the chaos on your life. Well, I had a theory that I was somewhat wrong. The clutter will always be there in one
form or another but the burning desire I have to write is constantly growing as
well. That is why I am forcing
myself into keeping the promise that I made to have and to hold my hopes and my
dreams until death I do part.
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My husband is quite wonderful though and is struggling
through his own insecurities, although deep-seeded, by working on getting to
know the woman I am becoming and by helping me find the confidence that he says
I always had but am now awakening.
I’m starting to like this woman that I’m becoming even if she’s carrying
around a little guilt, the guilt of putting herself first for once.
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So in keeping my promise and as I self reflect and redefine
who I am becoming, I am kicking the clutter aside and delegating duties to
others. If by teaching myself
that, maybe I can leave the impressions on my kids and loved ones that sometimes
to find who you are, you have to help the people around you learn that
sometimes the clutter we build together has to be torn down together. Take a guilt-free vacation by asking
for help and delegating duties.
E. Tate Johnson webpage
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