Ok, I just got manhandeled by some ancient dyke.  I'm sitting, stoned off my hoo haa with Jessica, drinking some coffee (how unusual) and this old lady comes up to us and starts making random conversation.  only she has no teeth and I can't understand a word that she is saying.  this guy from a table near us comes up all cocky and holier than thou and is all:

"Just let ma-ma sit down and someone will bring her some coffee or something"

Ok no problem.  Grandma sits down and is chillin with jess and I.  Only she keeps trying to give me little nudges.  I'm thinking "oh grandma, we're cute and brown, and I probably remind her of her granddaughter or something."  But I don't love the kisses from the toothless lady, and keep pushing her away. 

Then I ask her if she's going to the party tonight. And she stops, looks me up and down like the slimiest dude you've ever seen look at you and tries to kiss and hug me... again. 

It's at this point that I look at jessica and opt for the check, and leave, complete with the dirty looks from the rightous old guy.  I don't take that shit from dirty old men, and I don't take it from dirty old dykes either.  I don't care how many teeth you've lost.  THat's one for the record books!