Santa On A Scooter and Housecats in Hell.

I saw Santa Claus on a scooter zipping down 7th Avenue the other day. He was on one of those tiny silver jobs that were so popular a few years ago with the kids. Once I noticed him, I was spell bound by the sight of this large rotund elderly gentleman with a long flowing snow white beard kick pushing his improbably small toy silver scooter down a major NYC thoroughfare. Although he was not wearing his standard red suit* every thing else about him screamed Santa. He featured the cherubic face made famous by Norman Rockwell. And like I said before he was large and rotund; he had the long snow white beard, and he had long white hair trailing out from under his state of the art streamlined crash helmet. By any reasonable standard, here was a hilarious and magical apparition. He was so big and that scooter was so tiny, and he was practically flying with a big happy smile on his red, cheeked face It was very easy to see him in my minds eye flying across the skies in an air born, reindeer sleigh And if you stop to consider the fact that lately the North Pole turns into open seas every summer well then, it makes sense that Santa would have to spend his warmer months somewhere; why not NYC? Where else would he go? I mean seriously, who else could it have been?!

One of my teachers came to visit NYC and said I love this city because there is nowhere else in the world where you can find heartbreak on every block. That is true. NYC features more heartbreak per square mile than just about any other place on the planet. We also feature more magic, more insanity, more art, more sex, more money, more energy and more risk. If you know how to look, there is something amazing going on just about everywhere.

This morning, for instance, I saw a housecat in Hell. On E. 2nd St. theres a funky little store called Flame Job. Ive never been by when they are open so Im not sure what it is exactly that they sell but their window stars a red Devil Girl mannequin sprouting these really long horns. Shes wearing a black leather halter top and a pendant featuring an upside down pentacle with a severed goats head superimposed on it. Theres a neon sign that says EVIL and the entire window is framed in electric flames. This morning a very unselfconscious black and white house cat made itself at home within that tableau. The whole effect was a little disconcerting because the cat sat perfectly still and just ever too close to the windows glass. She was a ridiculous, mysterious and creepy sphinx.

Not only does NYC feature MORE of everything, this city features people, places and events that are unimaginable anywhere else. Stuff most people couldnt even begin to imagine as real happens here as a matter of fact every day. Like: Santas on scooters and housecats in hell.
You know what to do; go out and play.


*(FYI: Santa favors khakis and plaid shirts with suspenders in the off season.)