What is one to do,

When you see the ones' you love,

Searching for answers to life's inexplicable problems?

What is one to do when you see your loved ones',

Vigorously digging for answers to heal the ailments time has caused?

To make this personal,

What am I to do,

When I see the pain my dear mother faces day to day?

As I sit and think,

Of all time has plagued my mom with,

Again, I ask:

What am I to do?

I sit and watch as my mom treads through life,

Fearful that she will one day not be able to reach for her next object,

Or walk to her next destination.

I watch as her body deteriorates,  

I watch as her skin turns shades of white,

I watch as her hands become oh so fragile,

I watch as her steps grow shorter in motion,

I watch as her arms refuse to bend,

I watch as her skin begins to harden.

If I could turn back the hands of time,

I would, way before now.

I would turn back those hands,

In order to freeze time,

So I would not be forced to see

What my eyes now behold.

My eyes ache,

At the sights now seen.

I wish my mind envisioned,

While my eyes could not interpret these images,

That would cause this to be a dream,

But, that is not so.

I see as my mom is forced to confront the "faces" of people,

And all the utterances they speak.

Not knowing the things she endures.

Life is certainly not as it seems.

I see as mama sits and wonders what others think of her ailments.

I see as she tries to make sense of her suffering,

I see as she reluctantly accepts that her body is not what it used to be.

I see, yet I have no choice but to listen..

Listen as she speaks her words,

Voice trembling as though it may,

Words that once emitted so effortlessly,

Now sound meek in volume.

I listen as mama says, "I love you."

These three words now echo louder than ever.

In all my disappointment,

I refuse to let this situation cause me to lose hope.

For I know, life was not designed to be filled with beds of roses.

Mama may be in a dire state,

But even in her state, I thank God.

I will never understand,

How given all that she endures,

She continues to remain so hopeful.

I guess the love of God surpasses all.

Mama knows this life is not the end.

Her ailments will one day be a thing of the past,

Her suffering will end in time,

I find comfort in remembering,

God once said,

He would not allow more on mama,

Than she could bare.

But Lord I ask, "How much heavier is her load?"

Let that remain a rhetorical question,

Some things are better off not knowing.

I know you'll see mama through this trying time.

But until then I ask,

What am I to do?

Mama, until I find that out,

I want you to remember,

That you are:

Healed Openly and Promised Eternity

Love always your only son,

              Lil' Vollie