Patricia got married last night and the sentiment of the ceremony was beautiful. Although I am more partial to the traditional wording to the thoughts expressed on love I still felt a few tears slide down my face. . .
But now onto our real subject. At the reception, as is customary, all the single ladies were called to the floor and everyone under 8 years of age ran and everyone else was slowly coaxed onto the floor by a d.j. in a process that was no less painful than pulling teeth. . .I do not exaggerate. . . Two women actually made an effort at the bouquet of the 12 or so on the floor. Getting the men to the floor for the garter was worse. . .crazy if you ask me.
They should have crowded around to see Patricia's lovely gams at least while the garter was being removed but not even this enticed the fellows (HELLLLLOOOO!!!! those gams now belong to Ricky, it was your last free peak!) The fellows at my table began bargaining amongst themselves. I'll go if you go-- dude, there is no way I am headed out there. . .WHAT?!?! Has it really come to this? Do we so desperately hate the idea of our status--that we could not join in this silly tradition for the fun of the moment?
Young unmarried couples steadfastly sat by each other without coming forward. What was the message? "Baby, we are young but I love you so much I don't consider myself single, and I have no intention of catching that thing and dealing with the possible impending conversation?" Or was it that standing up when single people were requested was thought to be taken as a sign of denial of a relationship? Were all the self-respecting unmarried adults in the room really that miffed about a possible impending vow? Come on guys. . .single translates to unmarried--not without prospects! It is a fun tradition, only playfully signifying who may next be carrying a bridal bouquet or gloating about his new gams and their last public display for anyone elses benefit.
But Kris, you say, you never catch the bouquet--we've even seen you run from it. How true that is, but at least I participate in the ritual for the meaning of it. You see I have long said that I don't believe in marriage as it is commonly defined by the masses. No, not their ramblings of what is means but the continuous actions of betrayal I see among the couples around me. No, I am not criticizing the growing bulk of my friends that are married. It is for them to decided what marriage is for them.
But I do believe in the sanctity of love, and I do believe in the ritual of wishing others happiness, and I will most likely always stand for this moment in the reception even if I do not wish to symbolically force my future by shoving other women out of my way to make a bionic leap to snatch the bouquet mid-air. . .
I just wonder if you ever think about why you don't rise for the occasion.
. . .And you never know, keep going to these things and one day you might see the look of surprise on my face when the bouquet somehow ends up heading straight for me and I reflexively grab it to avoid a black eye. Hey, it happened once with a firecracker so I guess anything is possible.