Hello my darling, won't you tell me your name?:
Sure, sweetheart, it's John


Are you taking this survey because you're bored?:
More or less.  I can't sleep.


You must like taking these things, am I right?:
Well it's healthier than eating out of boredom


Well, then I must ask you a very survey-cliche question, your age?:
39 1/2


When is your birthday?:
July 17.  My Amazon.com wish list is on my front page if you're interested...


Are you legal?:
To do what?
 

Can you sing?:
In fact, I can.


Can you dance?:
I can do that too.


Can you do gymnastics?:
Haven't tried in years, so no.


If I told you that you had a massive zit, what would you do?:
Head for the medicine cabinet.  That's where I keep the whiskey.


Do you like asparagus?:
It's not my favorite, but I'm not mad at it or anything.  we've pretty much agreed to stay out of each others way.


Do you read Harry Potter books?:
I have read them, yes.


Do you have nice handwriting?:
Not even close.  I have lovely typewriting though.


What color do you wish the sky was?:
Uh...


Can you name all of the United States in alphabetical order?:
Not at 3:22 in the morning.


Can you draw?:
I used to wan to be a comic book artist, but was talked out of it early, as I have been with so very many things.  It's okay, I take meds to deal with it now.


Have you ever given a hobo more than five dollars?:
I'm not in the habit of riding the rails, so no.


Do you like McDonald's or Burger King french fries?:
I like Wendy's best, but BK is right up there.


Did I spell both of those band names correctly?:
Ask the little paperclip guy before you post this next time.


Are you a fan of pierced nipples?:
Not so much.


Do you have a girlfriend?:
I'm pushing 40.  We don't have "girlfriends" at this age, or at least we shouldn't.  I'm seeing someone, it's going well.


Are/were you happy being single?:
Being single in and of itself does not make me happy.


What do you think about Pokemon?:
I'm just glad I don't have to shell out for that crap any more.


Do you brush your teeth every day?:
Yup


When did you first ride a bicycle?:
Age five or six, I think.


Will you copy this and put it on myspace?:
What I'm doing.


Do you even have a myspace?:
Uh, where do you think this is?


Is myspace the devil himself?:

Never thought of a website as a "he" or a "she."  You might need to make an appointment with someone.

This survey is now officially over, what did you think?:

I think it killed a few minutes.

Really?:
Have some self respect and stop asking for constant reassurance.  You're embarrassing yourself.