So we all know the story of Skyla accidentally overwriting the file for CotA Chapter 3-3. And how she was supposed to have it done and up by the 15th. And by now we've probably figured out that it's not up yet.

Truthfully, I've been insanely busy. I've been working a lot (promotions are awesome, although they usually come with more responsibility, meaning lots more to do). I just signed the lease agreement for my apartment. I've been spending several hours on my free days to do fundraising for my other job. I was going to spend last weekend getting shit written, but then I changed my plans and went to my mum's early. And while I did get some writing done there, I still have to bulk up the work and fill in some blanks.

But, of course, rather than writing, I spend my time trying to figure WHY I'm avoiding this so much.

It's not just the rewriting aspect. I mean, don't get me wrong--I fucking HATE rewriting shit that I've actually lost. It's happened a few times. Sometimes 'cause I'm stupid and lost the work. Other times, it's 'cause I'm stupid and deleted it (I get VERY self-destructive when I have bad depressive episodes, and do shit like cut my hair, delete files, and throw out things important to me). I had to rewrite the last several chapters of Hunter last year, and several chapters of CotA...

And I bitched, complained, and whined...and it was hard...but I STILL got it done.

But this time, it's different. I've had a few weeks since the incident. I should be good to go.

I...just...can't....do it.

To be honest, I was dragging my feet on this one even before I lost the chapter. Part Three of CotA contains all the major plot/character things I've been planning since day one. THIS is what I've been excited for. I could sit and write the final five chapters today because I know this part of the story SO well.

And I'm thinking part of my brain just doesn't want to go there.

The problem, as far as I can see it, is probably twofold. 1. I've been waiting so long to get here that I'll be sad when its over, so maybe I'm now putting it off. This is a strong possibility. 2. I know where it's going, and I know it's a direction that isn't going to win me any popularity contests with readers. This is an even stronger possibility.

I'm thinking it's a combination of things.

I've never been someone who's ruled by what readers think. I feel it's important to stay in touch with readers and to ensure I have a sense of how they're responding to things. It keeps me grounded. However, I'm not going to change anything vital because it pisses people off.

I think by the time we're into Part Four, everyone's going to be really on board with the events of Part Three. It's all necessary. But...we still have to get through Part Three first. And I don't think it's going to go over well.

And so, I'm dragging my feet.

Want to know how much I'm dragging 'em? I randomly started pulling out old stories to read to procrastinate, and I actually like my awful NaNo novel from a few years ago, Mournful Blade. Yes, the (other) bane of my existence. I glancing through it and actually thinking, "Damn...I can work with this. This has awesomeness!"

And MB was baaaaad so I know I've lost touch with reality and should really go back to CotA.