So I quit drinking alcohol, turns out that stuffs bad for you.  Weird.  I'm not gonna tell anyone though, I'm just gonna be like "let's PARTY, I'll have a virgin cran-apple, please, thanks".  For the longest time I thought I needed to be drunk to have a good time, then I discovered cocaine, let me tell you, And I thought RockStar was kick ass.  You can actually stay awake for days.  Anyways, I'm back in Alaska, it's cold.  I have a sweet hotel room though, I've just been walking around naked all day, it is great.  I was really excited this morning when I heard that this girl I have a crush on had broke up with her boyfriend.  But then I realized that it doesn't matter because I'm too chicken shit to do anything.  That is the one thing I will miss about drinking, Invincibility!  I have an extreme fear of rejection but for some reason I'm really good at being rejected.  I've change a lot over the years, not just phisically, but I've become more bitter and cynical.  So I have decided to get my act together and this time I mean it.  I'm wearing nicer clothes and getting haircuts.  I take vitamins and drink cran-apple juice.  I'm looking for a wife.  I'm open to any callers but I am a little picky.  1.  A female is a must. (I want to procreate)  2.  non-smoker (my family doesn't need any unnecessary expenses, we'll probably be poor)  3.  Head to toe with tattoos and piercings or just one or just open to the possibility of sleeves.  4.  Wants to have lots of children, no set number, the world record is 65 soooo...    5.  She must be very active and very lazy all at the same time.  I can sit at home and watch 20 consecutive movies in about any genre or I could go hiking and camping for 20 consecutive days in the middle of nowhere.  6.  She appreciates a guy with a sense of humor.  When I say this I mean it.  Not the way every girl wants a guy with a "good sense of humor".  I don't know what they really means but I have a great sense of humor, I laugh at all my jokes.  7.  A girl that may or may not fit the above six, really I just want a girl that makes me want to change for her.  Hopefully I will have a dating video up soon, I've got to work out a lot first.  So here is my game plan:  First, work on Joey.  I'm turning out to be a pretty decent suitor.  I own my own car and bike.  My credit is starting to get better.  I'm working on kicking my porn addiction.  Any girl would be lucky to court such a swell fellow.  Second, woo the women.  I can't be looking for a life partner at some shitty bar.  Drunk girls are only good for one thing and I'm interested in more than that now, I'm still interest in that but other stuff too.  I have to get out and find the good girls you know, marriage material.  I'm not quit sure where these places are but I'm still on step one.  I however do fall in love all the time but it's usually for a split second on the highway or at the airport and then they're gone forever and I'm sad.  Third and the most important step, Don't Blow It.  History has shown this to be the hardest part.  I just don't understand girls.  Before I was like, do what I want and if it doesn't work out then it wasn't meant to be.  If I keep this up my mom will be wondering if her single 48 year old son might be playing for the other team.  So I've discovered a relationship is a lot of work, by watching Dr Phil.  

Another thing that's been bothering me is the whole argument on whether female orcs exsist or not.  I mean to me it's clear that orcs are herms.