I wake up, to my EIGHT different alarms hatefully blaring their sound at me. I have to set eight for myself every night to make sure I make it to work on time. But this time waking up something is different. Everything is much clearer. My head is less foggy. The world is a little brighter! Is this what it's like to wake up without any alcohol being in your body for only a mere 24 hours??

This is amazing! I eagerly get dressed somewhat excited to start my day. I even manage to choke down half a glass of the salt-water flush without fully regurgitating it back up like my fun episode yesterday. Although my throat gave some resistance which led to it dribbling out of my mouth and onto my shirt.

It's okay, I wipe off my own spittle and step out my door. It's not even THAT cold outside. As I cross the street I can feel my own exhilaration caused by my ambition to change my life already affecting my immediate world. I put my I-Pod on, step over the tooth-less one-legged homeless black man begging for money whose wearing no pants but somehow has a North Face jacket on and step into the subway on my way to work.

Shockingly I barely received any hunger pains today. There was no clutching of my work desk to support my body or fantasies of leaping across the office and ripping the sandwich out or Robyn's hands greedily shoving it into my already salivating mouth.

I even kept my temper with Achilles, slightly more, because he always deserves some attitude.

The biggest attraction of the day would have to be the constant trips to the bathroom that my body made mandatory. Of course with drinking all this water it's only natural that I would have to relieve myself continuously. Well on the master cleanse your not relieving yourself doing number 1. Oh no. That would be a reward at this stage in the game. No every so often I am forced to run to the bathroom to shit water!

Thank god I stashed a secret can of Apple Cinnamon Lysol air spray underneath the Men's sink in the bathroom. Unfortunately every time I spray the Apple Cinnamon scent it makes me think of food.

After an exhilarating day at work I'm feeling so energized and in such high spirits that I decide to invoke the second stage of my overall plan - GO BACK to the gym!

My gym is the NYSC and of course the one I go to is in the hub of Chelsea, so I always have conflicted feelings when I go there. Because I'm there trying to get into my own groove, I put on a little George Michael and work out. Well it's the Chelsea NYSC so EVERYONE there is gay. I even saw the shower cleaning man wearing a rainbow bandana and heard him speaking spanish with a lispth.

So whenever I walk into the locker room it's just a plethora of penis - of naked gay men showing off their bodies to each other, some getting ready to work out and some trying to find a trick in the sauna.

I had a great workout and ended it with running for ten minutes on the treadmill. While I was running I got light-headed for a quick second and then was instantly flashed back into the Full House episode where DJ boldly skips lunch because she's on a diet and then runs for 25 seconds at the gym and almost passes out. Oh DJ you fat pig next time just throw up your lunch and Danny Tanner will never be the wiser.

For some reason this flashback rolled into the SAVED BY THE BELL episode where Jessie Spano becomes addicted to caffeine pills. Which reminds me why I started the Master Cleanse in the first place..look what happened to Jessie Spano..she ended up in SHOWGIRLS.

I'm home now sipping my tea and it's of to DAY 3 of

THE MASTER CLEANSE!