Who are the Microsoft office clip art people? I was flipping through them this morning for a fun picture to spice up my, "I'm leaving early today" e-mail and I think I found my long lost Uncle; he's throwing a Frisbee while a lady sets up a picnic.

Does having a window washer's crotch at eye level outside the window of your cube for 30 minutes constitute sexual harassment? If so, can I still file sue if I asked for his phone number?

Ok so I had to following conversation, today they are doing maintenance on the compound so for the past 4+ hours there has been a lot of hammering, Sawing, BANGING! Well you get the point.

Cube Buddy: God! They have been making noise out there all morning! I can't think straight it's so noisy. How would they like it if I came to their job and hammered for hours!

Me: Actually, I think they would probably really like it if you did that since apparently their job is hammering.

Cube buddy: You can be real sarcastic sometimes!!!

Me: Yeah well you can be some things too! (the noise is getting to me too)

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This is something that I have been researching for about 2 days now.

What's wrong with swallowing?

Now I know some of my readers minds have gone to a dirty place, but allow me to disappoint you, I'm referring to gum you know hubba bubba, banana bubblicious, Bazooka Joe.

Raise your hand if your mom warned and/or threatened you not to swallow your gum as a child? (ok, put your hand down this is the internet I can't actually see you)

Anyway, I was asking around and I have heard the following things can occur if you swallow.

* The gum will stay in your tummy forever

* The gum will turn into a rock in your stomach and clog your "poop shoot"

* The gum will breed and make gummy off spring that will infect your entire body

There are also the various threats that accompany the notion of swallowing.

* If you swallow that gum you will NEVER EVER get another piece!

* If you swallow that gum you will go to hell.

* If you swallow that gum goblins will come at night cut you open and take it 

   back, that's why we spit it out when we are done.

Now, I did not make up any of the aft for mentioned gum swallowing effects or threats, they were all told to me by various co-workers over the last two days.

I gotta tell you I'm amazed anyone chews gum. How does Wrigley stay in business?

I have come to the following synopsis:

The people I work with are warped, controlled insane people, and I should start keeping a taser in my desk and mothers really don't want their children to swallow because they want to instill in them early on.

"Don't attempt to swallow unless you are positive you can get it down"

(don't you guys just love how I brought this whole thing back around to that dirty dirty place)

O and last but not least a moment of silence for my Nephews friend ON died yesterday, they had a good morning together, talking, playing, reading stories and J took it hard when he woke up from his nap and found that ON, had well moved ON and was not moving and grandma could not help him. J and ON had a bond that only a 4 year old boy and a house fly could have.

I hope there's a big pile of shit in heaven for you ON

I should probably disclaimer this so I don't sound like a jerk: ON is/was actually, a houes fly, my nephew named him ON.