 |
Lee's mom called me yesterday, tears in her voice as she read me the words from her son in prison... He was one of my dear nephew "lil shane"s best friends. As I see the pain this has caused for so many, I can almost Thank God for taking lil shane's life and not allowing him to be one of the ones left to grieve. The death of my nephew has by far been the hardest thing I have ever had to face in my lifetime. Its been 3 months and I still find myself crying my eyes out for no reason... just driving down the road, watching a movie or just by going to his profile.. (#1 on my top list) God doesnt make mistakes and sometimes he takes 1 life to save many more. My mission is to make sure that Lil Shanes life was not purposeless here on earth. Crystal Methamphetamine / Ice / Tina/ Crank however you want to say it is killing people everyday. Some quickly without warning, some very slow. It doesnt care who it takes next.. If its not you... it could be worse... it could be your friend sitting there next to you.... and you could be left to live the rest of your life with a Conscience mind. Shane dont want anybody to hurt... he was very loving and tender hearted under all that "thuggin lifestyle" He was always the first to help out at the house... and all knows Lil Shane loved the kids....
R.I.P my darling angel..... I pray that at least one persons life will be saved through you....
death certificate reads... accidental overdose by intoxication of methamphetamine....
MY CONSCIENCE MIND... WRITTEN BY LEE STRANGE FROM PRISON. I HAVE SEEN MY SHARE OF DEATH IN MY LIFETIME,BUT NONE TROUBLES ME AS MUCH AS THE DEATH OF MY BEST FRIEND SHANE MALCOM. I GUESS BECAUSE HE WAS STILL YOUNG AND WE WERE SO CLOSE.NOBODY KNOWS THE PAIN I FEEL OR THE HURT THATS IN ME BECAUSE OF HIS PASSING.WE HAD SOME GREAT TIMES TOGETHER.IM FILLED WITH MEMORIES THAT ARE FOREVER WITH ME.THAT'S A GOOD THING AND A BAD THING.IN MOST OF THE MEMORIES WE WERE DOING BAD THINGS.WE WEREN'T LIVING FOR THE LORD.WE WERE LIVING FOR THE MOMENT.LIVING TO FAST.NOT CONCERNED WITH THE CONSEQUENCES THAT OUR ACTIONS WOULD BRING.THEREFORE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT THE FUTURE.NEEDLESS TO SAY WE WERE LOST.I WAS OLDER THAN HE WAS AND THEREFORE SOMEWHAT OF A ROLE-MODEL TO HIM.THIS IS WHAT TROUBLES ME THE MOST. I FEEL LIKE THAT MAYBE IT'S MY FAULT THAT HE CHOSE THE PATH THAT HE DID. IF NOT ENTIRELY MY FAULT,I KNOW THAT I AM PARTLY TO BLAME FOR IT. AT THE TIME I DIDN'T THINK OF IT THE WAY I DO NOW.I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT LIFE WAS ABOUT.I WISH I KNEW THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW.IF I COULD GO BACK I WOULD MAKE MAKE MY PATHS STRAIGHT.I WOULD BE FILLED WITH MEMORIES OF THINGS I WOULDN'T LATER REGRET.I WOULD HAVE MEMORIES OF ENCOURAGING MY FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES TO DO THE RIGHT THING AND NOT LIVE A LIFE OF SIN. I WOULD ENCOURAGE THEM TO TRUST IN AND WALK WITH THE LORD.BUT AS YOU KNOW I CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST AND I'M NOT EVEN SURE THAT IF I COULD THAT THINGS WOULD HAVE TURNED OUT DIFFERENTLY.MAYBE LIL' SHANE WOULD HAVE CHOSE A DIFFERENT PATH, MAYBE NOT.ONLY GOD KNOWS.ONE THING IS FOR CERTAIN.BECAUSE OF THE CHOICES OF MY YOUTH I NOW LIVE WITH A GUILTY CONSCENCE.I'M A FIRM BELIVER THAT EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON,EVEN THOUGH ALOT OF TIMES I CAN'T COMPREHEND THE REASONING BEHIND THE EVENTS THAT TAKE PLACE. I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THIS IS BECAUSE IN THE BIBLE THE LORD SAYS THAT HIS THOUGHTS ARE NOT OUR THOUGHTS.SO EVEN THOUGH I DON't COMPREHEND THE REASON THAT SOMETHING HAPPENS.I DO BELIEVE THERE IS REASONING BEHIND IT.REASONS FAR TOO COMPLEX FOR MAN TO UNDERSTAND.SINCE I CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST I GUESS I HAVE TO ASK FOR FORGIVNESS AND THUS, FORGIVE MYSELF. UNTIL THEN I HAVE THIS ON MY CONSCIENCE AND BEAR GUILT FOR PAST EVENTS.
5:03 AM
Powered by  | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|