A Mish Mash of Updates:

Seven months have passed since my gender reasignment surgery, and basically everything has more or less gone like clockwork for me in terms of recovery and developing sensation. I'm very pleased with how everything looks and works for me, and I couldn't have wished for better to be honest.
One thing I have noticed is the continual feminisation of my general body shape since surgery, and I seem to have lost even more bulk around my shoulders, and my shape is even more curvy than before. It proves that my male bits at the time must have still been producing some testosterone, which I had not been blocking with Anti-androgens due to not having been prescribed them by my consultants. It is surprising, even after being on hormones for 4 and a half years, that my body is still developing even at this late stage in transition.

Overall I'm very pleased with the results of my hard long slogg to become the woman I am today. However, there is just one tiny bit of nagging thought going through my mind about my overall appearance which will not go away no matter how much I try to justify otherwise. That nagging thought is still about my jaw line, which to me is still wider than I personally think a female has naturally. Yes, I know I get away with it, and  know I very rarely get read, but I see it even when others don't.
So, I went to see my surgeon, and told him what I thought. His opinion is that I don't really need to have surgery, but can accept my point of view. We have therefore agreed that he will tweek the jaw line to yet again give a subtle change that he and I will notice, but very few who know me will see much of a change, much as had been done on my brow. I've never wanted to go under the knife and come out looking like someone else. Instead all I want is small changes that take the rough male like edges away, but still look like me at the end of the day as a female you can look at and not say "she's had work done on her face, I can tell".
So, I've made my mind up to go once more under the knife. If I ever go for more surgery in the future, it will be just like any other woman out there who wants to try and stem the onslot of age, and have nothing to do with gender issues. Hopefully I will have that chapter in my life put to bed for good.

Now for something completely different. Acceptance, and disclosure.
Generally speaking within my every day life, I have no problems or issues relating to passing as the female I am in public or within my working environment. I accept I am very lucky in that department. Acceptance is not an issue when people don't realise I'm a transitioned woman. In the working environment, or with my friends who do know of my male based past, such knowledge is never an issue. With others who meet me for the first time, and later find out, it can be a different story. Let me explain some more and give you an example.
I have always been the type of person who likes to be open and truthfull on-line through my blogs, groups, etc. I do this to help others like me, and to try and educate society in general through publishing my experiences. Most of the time, people appreciate such honesty, but some take exception to difference on their accepted 'norm', and treat me like a sub-human being as a result. I suspect it speaks volumes about their own insecurities rather than truthfully relate to my situation, but what they say still hurts because of it's abusive, bigoted, narrow minded content.
A few people who comment on my photos say I should mark them as being perverted, deviant, filth, freakish,etc.......you get the general idea.
On Facebook recently, I had been asked to join the Cougar Club, which is basically a group for older women who are attractive to younger men. I joined it for a bit of fun basically. I had a onslot of young guys wanting to be on my friend's list. Sadly though, once you accept their friend request, they tended to quickly delete their acceptance once they read about me being a trans woman. If I had not been honest, they would not know any better. What I find sad is their narrow minded way of thinking, and again it is hurtful to realise that the vast majority of society do not, and never will, view me as being a woman.
Again I will state......why oh why is it so hard for people to accept that some women like me are actually born with the wrong bits, but are female in mind, heart, and soul? Why is it so hard for people just to accept that fact?

I've had a long and hard battle fighting society to become, and be accepted, for being the true person you see before you today. It started with an internal battle within myself to accept I was that girl I always knew I was, dispite what others told me all my life. I then had to face everyone in my male based life with the truth, and face the backlash of loosing more or less everything I had built up in life. This included the breakup of my lovely family unit including a devoted wife and two fantastic children I still miss more than anything in this world. It included having my former in-laws and friends turn their backs on me, purely because they could not understand what I was doing (and didn't agree with it either). I had to face everyone I worked with, and face loosing my job if it didn't go down well (thankfully all worked out very well though). I also had to start from scratch in my new full time female role in a small flat, with more outgoings than had been coming in at that point. I also had to try and build up a new circle of friends. Even looking as good as I did, sometimes I did get read, and for those of us who have to face such situations, I don't have to explain to you how hard that is at first to deal with in life. To the rest of you reading this, all I can say is that the term 'that is a man', is very hurtfull indeed!
Add to this the pain and recovery of many surgeries, and you may start to get the idea why we as transitioning women have every right to be accepted as females in the same way as genetic born women.

OK that is my mish mash of updates and rants over for now. I'll finish by introducing the lovely lasses in the photo above. From left to right, you have the totally (and sickenly) gorgeous Alyx, who is half my age and twice as gorgeous as I can ever hope to be. Next to her is my lovely friend Lucy, and next again my fab buddy Sarah. I don't need to confirm who the old blonde bimbo on the far right is, lol.
Anyway, before the narrow minded twats like the ones on Facebook make any comments about the girls in this photo, I can confim that not one of the four of us started life out as genetic born females. However, all of us are much more female than any narrow minded bigot will ever have as a girlfriend........so stick that in you pipe and smoke it mate!

Alex. x