A Photo taken at my Brother Kev's 40th Birthday bash with me and my Sis Val.


.......and she lived happily ever after. The End.

I think the title of this last blog entry that I'm likely ever going to post again on-line is quite a fitting one actually. It follows on from my previous blog entry which basically stated I needed to move on in life, but I also now do feel I need to draw an end to publically publishing my new life, which means no more blogs either.

I have been trying to remove as much referrence to my previous life by deleting photos and text that links me to my former male based and transitioning life. It will be impossible to fully purge all referrence, but I can remove most of it from the sites I'm going to continue using. Examples are here on Myspace, Flickr, Facebook, Bebo, etc, whereby the T'girl element has been removed (again where I can), and my profile info no longer states anything about my own transitional past. I have also left all (as far as I know) TG related groups. My close friends believe I should go further and delete all my photos and blogs so that no one outwith my close friends and family can contact me. Their reasoning behind that thought process is to allow me to fully get on with my new life without being drawn back into and being associated with anything TG.

I've thought about it long and hard, and my conclusion is what I hope is going to be a good happy medium. Yes, I do need to move on and just get on with my new life, and let go of the past which is no longer who I am. However, I have made a lot of good friends over the years, and many I still wish to keep in contact either in real life or/and on-line. I have also detailed a lot of very useful information about my transitional journey, which I still firmly believe is of use to both TG and non-TG folks interested in reading and trying to understand the truth about what it really is like to transition from one gender to another. Lots of crap is written on the Net about transitional issues, and tons of TG stuff is sadly linked to porn. I therefore do like to try and convince people that there are real every day folks like me out there who are also classed under the TG label who are just fighting society to be accepted as a fellow human being wishing to live life our own way. I think I've managed to get that across on my blogs and photos, and is why I think it would be a shame to totally delete everything from the Net.

I suppose people in future who I meet could link to material I haven't removed from the Net, and find out about my past that way, even if I'm more or less living in stealth. That is a risk I'm prepared to take for now. I also realise that because I have a huge male based past with children, etc, and so many people know who I am, that full stealth can never be a reality for me. I can obtain partial stealth though, with folks who don't know me at the moment just accepting me for the female I now am.

So, I'll draw this final blog to a close with a short summary of where I am and what I think I'll aim for in life (although that likely will change to a degree, because life is like that).......I think I owe you all that at least.

My transitional process isn't quite at an end yet, because I still have some minor facial surgery to go through on my jaw line, which I covered in a previous blog entry. I now have a date for that surgery on the 2nd of September 2009. I really do believe that will be the last of the subtle tweaking, and I hopefully can get on with my life without any more surgeries (unless life saving that is).
I'm also in the process of obtaining a divorce from my wife at long last (the whole process is taking ages through a court process due to our children being under 16 years of age). Once this has been dealt with, I can then obtain a Gender Recognition Certificate that legally sees me as being female, and I can then also change my birth certificate to female.

Materialistic things I'd like to aim for include a bigger owned house along the lines of what I had to give up freely to my family. A Porsche 911 car would be nice when I have less out goings in the future, and more holidays to far off and exotic places. Maybe even a career change in future once my financial commitments have been fully addressed.......who knows.

I will also need to seriously sit down and think about what pass times I like. That may sound daft to most of you, but if you had lived half your life trying to be somone you weren't, and doing things to prove a point rather than through enjoyment, then you to would be left wondering........"well what do I actually like"? I'll get there though, and may go back to the gym, take up dancing, etc.

By far the biggest issue for me though, is the family life I lost which meant so much to me. Yes, I still get to see my children, and they very much will still remain a major part of my life. However, I've lost my soul mate in my wife, and a circle of friends, who actually didn't turn out to be that good a bunch of friends anyway, but that isn't the point. The point is I lost all that had been my world and safetynet, and I haven't yet totally replaced that level of comfort. The biggest gap in my life circle at present is a loving soulmate. My needs have changed a lot from my previous hetrosexual male based life, and although I do have a bi side, my preferrence is to be with an honest and kind loving male partner. My big problem is that I'm very fussy when it comes to men, and I don't settle for 2nd best (which is also why I'm still a virgin, lol). It would one day be lovely to settle down and get married for the last time to the right man, and build up a new life together with mutual friends, dual owned house, two cars, and take romantic holidays together...........lol, a girl can dream, eh?????

Anyway, that is it for me folks. It is not the end for me, and is actually the beginning of another unknown journey, that can follow a multitude of paths. I have no idea how life will pan out for me, but one thing is for sure.........I ain't publishing anymore of it for you lot to read, lol.

So lets all assume she lived happily ever after (think I'm going to cry now).

The End.

Luv, Alexandra Young. xxx